Authors Notebook

I want to

I want to hear someone casually say "you're beautiful" to me

I want to be able to love someone with all my heart, and know that they love me.

I want to know someone that will know when I want to talk and when I just need a hug.

I want to know someone who will care about me.

I know it's selfish and stupid. I should be happy with what I have. I should keep a big, brigth smile.

But everywhere I turn, everyone has either a best friend or a lover that they trust with their lives.

For example.

strangemusiclover and awkward_unicorn_15 is the most adorable OTP. You two care for each other, trust each other, love each other. You're perfect for one another. I just wish I could say that I wasn't jealous.

I have a friend irl, and her and her boyfriend are so cute together. I think they had their five year anniversery in March.

I wish I had irl friends that really knew me and would understand. Beacouse, rigth now, I have never heard the voices of my best friends.

I realized what triggers my panic attacks. It's when I do something wrong. The feeling of not being good enough. Of trying my best and not succeding.

I don't feel good enough.

I am not good enough.

Good nigth.