Born in Atlanta, yet raised in the wards of Houston... I'm not finna say that I'm "hood", but test me if you want to.
The name's Adryan Fernández, I'm 17 years old... and no I'm not fully hispanic, I'm technically a mutt. I got a little bit of everything. I began to create a record for myself in the 5th grade but started being in and out of jail the following year.
As of October 23, 2016, I became an "only child"... I had an older brother named Jonah, he meant everything to me. Jonah was an amazing guy with bad habits. his smile was out of this world, his laugh was like music to my ears, and his voice... it was soothing, you could never stay mad at him for too long.. it was impossible... J was an underground artist. a Soundcloud rapper. his fan base was growing in different states. he told me he felt like he had this "special connection" with his fans. like they could understand what he was going through by listening to his music or reading the lyrics.. he felt like they could some how relate to him and his pain... Jonah was at his best when he was in the studio or on stage, It put a smile on my face watching him living his dreams.
even though, he was making money doing shows, releasing music, and going on tours, didn't mean J and I stopped doing our little side hustle.. we sold dope because we felt like it was just some normal shit, and it felt like that because it was... J and I were practically everybody's plug, yet we knew how to stay low key about it.
One night Jonah and I attended a "welcome home" party for one of his people that he was really chill with. J and some random nigga got into it, and I ain't finna lie, but my brother beat his ass!! But what we didn't know that on the way home, the pussy nigga from the party got his people to jump Jonah. 7 of them and 2 of us. blood was flowing out of my brothers mouth, his beautiful features were bloody, bruised, and broken. After they beat him half way to death, they acted like it wasn't enough, so they shot him 3x right in front of me... I knew that right there.. my brother, my father figure, my best friend, other half, diary, teddy bear, ride or die, etc. was gone...
it was fucked up in all types of ways, and the niggas who did it never saw the day of light again cause one by one my people took care of them...
My mom didn't take Jonah's death very well, due to the fact that we lost our dad 4 years ago.. Jonah did his best to support my mom and I since she was too unstable to take care of us herself.
Now.. things have changed.
I've been fighting since day one, not as much when my dad was around, but as soon as he left it didn't settle well with me... Jonah hated me fighting so when I did fight -- J would beat my ass, whether I won or not. he always told me that "you never know what your opponent got on them or what their friends might do, a fight is never fair."
I always kept that in my mind..
unfortunately, I get into way more fights now though, I try not to fight for the sake of J but people stay testing me and it's how I let my anger out. thanks to that, I been to almost every school in Tx, so everybody knows me... No school will even except me, shit I mean, home school too expensive so I ended up dropping out. since it was just my mom and I, I tried my best to support her but she act like I never do jack crap for her.
She's barely home, and when she is, she either being a hoe or tryna beat up on me. I'm stronger than her, yet I would never put my hands on her...
Once I got myself some what together, and got enough bread to get my own place. I left. I ain't selfish though. i called up my mommas' sister so she knew to check up on her daily, before I dipped.
My best friend Tyler decided to move wit me, because we're practically inseparable, plus he wants to keep an eye on me...We moved to Florida and it ain't bad livin' on our own, yet it ain't easy either. I still hustle since I'm not in school anymore and can't get a decent job because of my record... Ty also sells dope, but not as much cause he says it's more of a hobby for him since he actually has a job down here... some of my people moved down here wit me and i met a few niggas as well.
but it doesn't feel right...
Shit still ain't the same though, wit Jonah gone, i don't feel like me you know..? I'm more upset, i feel numb half the time, and other times i'm angry, depressed.. Or i just wanna kill myself. I try so hard to smile but what's the whole point if it's just gonna be a fake one..? I always try to look on the bright side of things, but nothing really shines in my life because everything was taken from me slowly.
i always knew from the get go that i was going to end up alone. i mean, even though i got Tyler i still feel as if i'm unwanted and misunderstood... like no one actually gets me and the pain that i suffer with everyday...
it doesn't matter though because at the end of the day. i got me, my bread, and my best friend right next to me. He's all i got left, and i don't plan on losing him any time soon or ever. we've been down for one another since 4th grade and i be damned if one of us were to switch up...
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A/N so i deleted the original book and decided to re-write it.
lemme know your thoughts and don't forget to vote and comment
-💔
