One-shots (BBS)

Trolls

Once upon a time. You, and all your kind lived underneath bridges. Had ridges for ribs that dropped off into empty chests as if your hearts were all stolen treasures. As if an excavation crew were hired to dig up and remove the part of you that let you feel.

"Jonathan you peace of shit! Why can't you not fuck up one time!" Yelled your father at your six year old self. "Yeah you can't do anything right, I don't even know why we had you!" Yelled your mother because you knocked over a vase causing it to shatter. You look down trying not to cry and go grab the broom and clean the mess up.

And while the world above you invented the wheel, you stayed put. Knowing it would one day need to rollover top of you to get where it's going. You had an endless flowing supply line of food. You became to brood over humanity and made meals of our hope.

"You think you can succeed high school? You must be even dumber then we thought, how retarded are you. I mean your just a fagot (it hurt me to write that) here to suck dick." They all laughed at you as you walked away to weak to do anything and one yelled as you left, "he's probably going to go suck someone's dick in the bathroom!"

As if crushing our spirits would make your mirrors cast better reflections than the ones they gave. As if the only way you could save yourselves was to make the world ugly so no one would notice you hiding in it. You learned to knit pain into a kind of camouflage. Treated hope like a mirage that you could use to lure in your next meal.

"Jonathan how many times have we been over this, you can't do that as a career. You are really dumb if you think you can." Yelled your older sister because you said you wanted to be a world traveler as your career.

You lived off of our fears as if you could taste what we feel. And every night, as soon as the moon read bedtime stories to sunlight. You took darkness as an invite to head out into the world. You curled your hands into wreaking balls. You breathe became squalls. You made rocks rumble. You made land shiver.

You went on late night walks because know one that knew you was out and your family wouldn't care. "Hey pretty thing come with me for a good time." Said a man you were going to walk passed. You didn't answer and you were yanked back by the arm and pinned to a building, to weak to do anything and no one was going to help you, you tried your hardest to stay strong.

You made boys and girls pray that someone would deliver them from you. We told them you weren't real. And then one day, the world changed. But you all stayed the same. Just migrated from living underneath bridges to living underneath information super highways.

"People that bully are just people with bad families Jon. You should know that so don't hate them because they need the most help. Just suck it up." Said Jonathan's best friend Luke, because he said that people bullied him and that the whole school hated him. He never did mention to anyone what happened that one night because he would get called weak and be bullied about being supposedly gay even more. He was trapped.

Days and nights became meaningless. Each already deepened chest became an abyss that no one would ever find the Bottom of. Concepts like love fell into your gravity. We turned ourselves into life preserver hoping to save as many as we could.

You started a YouTube channel called h20 delirious a couple years ago and now you have new online friends that didn't hurt you, but after a while they started hurting you too. "Delirious you fagot, you can't do anything right! Why are you even here." A series of yeahs came after wildcat or Tyler said that, none of them saying that was a little harsh or rude. He stayed quiet and then marcel said "I bet you he's sucking a dick right now, that gay ass." You left the call and cries feeling your world crumble, or what's left of your world.

But the fathers who stood guarding closet doors and the mothers who secured the floors underneath beds all shook their heads not knowing how to deal with you. You. Who crept into our lives with tongues like knives stabbing your words into or skin. You began to begin to uploading yourselves into our homes. You had computers screens for eyes and software for bones.

Lying on your bed trying to go to bed you here a ding from your phone and you see it's from Tyler saying that he should leave the group cause no one likes him and that he was a waste of space, but the worst part about receiving that text is that you believe it because that's all you've heard your whole life.

You turned you hate into stones and hurled them at beauty as if you couldn't bear to see anything other than ugly. Anything different. You had fingernails like flint and scraped them along decency hoping we would be the ones to all catch fire. You all had smiles like one way barbed wire not meant to keep us out. Meant to keep us in.

Day after day you received rude texts and remarks from everyone you knew. You hadn't been on for a while and some of the more nice people of the group started to notice, so later that day you finally joined a game only to immediately receive a "Hey fagot!"

Voice like a firing pin, you spoke in explosives. It isn't cute. It isn't funny. You have talked strangers into death and laughed. And as each family learns to graft skin over the wound you gave them, you hem yourselves into the scars. You have coaxed the sober back into bars, handed out cigars at memorials. Offered nooses, cliffs, and pills to those who unfortunately found you before they found help.

You finally had enough after a while and asked something that surprised all of them even himself, he asked over the Skype call "What's it like to not live in suffering or people not saying your worthless?" No one answered so he said again, "Is it nice bro to be called names everyday and not have to wish you don't exist." Then Marcel laughed, he had the humanity in him to laugh when someone admits their suffering. It's cruel right, no it's not because it's what humans do best. Destroy and kill others, either with words or by hand.

You have praised suffering. Waltzed in between tragedies, gracefully dipping misery as if we would somehow be impressed with the dexterity of your animosity. You have cheered on rape. Dashed through police tape as if it were the finish line in a race of who can be awful first. Even now, you somehow see this as an invitation to turn your keyboards into catapults. Wondering which one of you can be the first to this best.

You decided to leave, after all this time you wanted to do what you originally planned to do in life, travel. You were never going to talk to anyone you knew because you knew they wouldn't be able to find you because you never showed your face over the years and it came in handy. Even after you traveled you were going to live in Venice, Italy because you spoke it fluently, I mean what else is there to do?

You're loathing, already dressed in riot gear. Ready to incite rage. As if each message board is a stage where you recite hospitality turning freedom of speech into freedom of cruelty. We are stuck with you. The same way you are stuck with you. Your mind is glue and it keeps malice fastened there like cheep wallpaper. We were once upon a time told that none of you exist. We dismissed you as make believe or myth. Now, armed only with resolve. We can no longer afford to tell ourselves that you aren't real. We will not let you make your dinners out of the things we feel.

As your last video you gave your known intro of "Hey guys what's up it's h2o delirious here and I wanted to tell you all that this will be my last video on this channel forever. I'm sorry, it's just that I found something that I'm even more passionate about. I won't be on any social media things. But enjoy this video and leave a like." The video was of all the hurtful things the guys said to him, like how when they didn't think anyone was recording they would wail on him with insults. He did it not to ruin their life but so it could show you that he wasn't becoming the trolls dinner tonight.

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Thank you all for reading. I hope you enjoyed and please request if you want it see me write something. Happy birthday if it's your birthday and have a good day.

Jess out

Peace!