These Marks You've Left On Me

Nebraska

"Elise, dinner," Laura hollered from the kitchen "Can you please set the table?"

I set my violin and bow gently back into their case, that was left open on my bed. The waltz I was just playing was ringing in my ears. It truly was a beautiful piece of music. Laura was always saying that I needed to get more involved and be more social. I had auditioned for the local orchestra that had accompanied all the plays that played at our theater. I had made it, which surprised me, because I accidentally played all my C's as sharps when they should've been flats. But the judges thought it added character.

I entered the small kitchen/dining area in our apartment, which stood a few stories above the ground. I set the table, making sure everything was perfectly placed, and popped with beautiful colors. I poured myself a mug of hot tea, and a glass of white wine for Laura. She was a strong believer of fancy cooking and fancy drinks. Tonight's fancy food was a French based dish with lots of vegetables.

I always wondered how we were sisters. Laura was tall and curvy with beautiful blonde hair and stunning blue eyes. I was kinda tall-ish with a tangled mess of brown locks, and brown eyes that looked like mud.

"You're quiet tonight, everything all right?" Laura asked, as we sat down to eat. I never talk very much, but Laura says that my eyes speak louder, and more, than my voice ever did.

"Yeah, just some school stuff. You know, today was the last day of school," I looked down at my fancy pasta with fancy spices like "basil" and "thyme".

Laura just nodded. This was one of my favorite things about my sister. When I did talk, she sat there and listened. She always knew when the appropriate time to ask questions were, and didn't say anything until then.

"The boys want to go on a road trip this summer. They want to hit all 48 states. And they want me to go with." I locked eyes with Laura across the table.

"Great, you have my blessing." She picked up her wine flute and sipped.

"That's it?"

"Yeah, you four are seniors. You all love each other very much. I trust those boys. And I think it'd be a great opportunity for you to become closer as a group." She wiped her mouth with her napkin and picked up her fork.

"I was really hoping you'd say no," I mumbled into my tea mug.

Laura glared at me, her blue eyes like ice. "You know what the doctors said. You need to be more social. Actually, forget the doctors. I'm saying you need to be more social. For goodness sake, you're 17 and you've never been to a party, you've never had your heart broken, you've never done illegal drugs behind my back."

"You want me to do drugs?" I took another bite of fancy pasta.

"Well, no, that's not the point. The point is that I want you to go with Eli, Joe, and Will. It'll be good for you."

I made a face and Laura made it right back.

After dinner I texted Eli to let him know that I was able to go, that I "had Laura's blessing".

Eli: Great, we leave the day after Next...

Me: yay...

Eli: Come on! Pep up, It'll be fun. :D

Me: no, I'm going to be petty and bitter the whole time

Eli: Okay... whatever you say...

There was a pause.

Eli: Oh and no pants, Elise Jane, shorts and skirts only >:)

Since Eli had insisted on me wearing clothes that I didn't own, Laura and I spent all of the next day restocking my wardrobe. We went to countless stores and Laura spent many hours looking at styles, lengths, and colors. I tried telling her that she was spending too much money on me and that it wasn't worth it. She said that it was her treat and that I needed to shut up about money or I would be sleeping outside on the balcony for a month after I got back.

I had to admit that it was quite amusing to watch my big sister treat me like I was two again, holding various skirts with pretty patterns up to my waist and saying things like "You would look absolutely darling in this!" and "my little sister is so precious!"

After Laura finally gave in and we were heading home from our shopping-filled day, we stopped at the bank. Laura told me to wait in the car, while she ran inside real quick. When she got back, she handed me a thick envelope. She looked me dead in the eye.

"Elise, I know money has been a little bit of a problem lately, but I felt like we needed to splurge a little. I am so proud of you and how much you have come out of your shell the past few months." I didn't know what she was talking about, but I knew better than to interrupt Laura when she was saying a monologue. "There are $5,000 in that envelope. I want you to use it for gas, food, and anything else you may need on your trip with the guys. And I don't want to hear a single peep out of you about the money we have spent today." By this point she was crying.

"Laura, you didn't have to do this." My voice began to crack; I was a very emotional person.

"I know but I wanted to."

I didn't know what to say. "Thanks," I mumbled.

Laura picked up my left hand and kissed my knuckle. "Let's go home and get you packed." She started the ignition to the car and turned up the radio, her way of telling me that the conversation was dropped.

Neither one of us talked for the rest of the car ride. Laura was the first to break the silence when we got home saying, "I'll get the big suitcase for you to use." We spent the better of the next four hours packing. Well, Laura was packing, I was staying out of her way. She was getting really weird about everything. She would set a shirt down on the bed, and pull a few bottoms out of the sacks we brought in from our shopping. She would look at each one, considering them carefully. She would finally pick the appropriate bottoms to go with the top and fold them daintily, setting them in the bag.

When everything was packed and perfect to my sister's standards, she fell asleep, leaving me to ponder, as I often did late at night. They weren't really coherent thoughts, more like swirls and shapes of bright colors that popped into my head.

Now that Laura was asleep, I could finish my things. I got my school bag, which had been cleared out, and began putting books in. My shelves were lined with classics like Wuthering Heights, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Beautiful And Damned. Classic novels always highlighted how bad life really is, they mention how everyone thinks everything is fine and dandy but the main character is always plagued by some disease that makes the things around them seem different. They are able to see everything the way they really are. It's almost satirical. It's how the world should be viewed.

After I stuffed as many books and art supplies as I could into my bag, I set it, and my violin by the door. I glanced at the electric clock that was built into the oven. 1:30. My boys would be here in seven-and-a-half hours. I tried to think of anything else I could do before I tried to sleep. I had never been good at organizing, especially my thoughts, so after my brain went 90 different directions, I went to the bathroom.

I grabbed one of the dresses that were now draped across the shower rod to dry. I slipped it over my shoulders and stared are my reflection in the mirror. I looked like Laura. If this is who my friends wanted me to be, if they thought it was going to be healthier for me, I'd try to play along.