INT. COFFEE SHOP – Day.
RYAN AND DANIEL ARE SAT DRINKING COFFEE AND WAITING FOR MARK TO ARRIVE.
DANIEL
Have you seen Mark recently?
RYAN
Ye, saw him the other day actually.
DANIEL
Does he still…you know…
RYAN
… have his thing?
DANIEL
Ye.
RYAN
Yep. Its always out.
DANIEL
Dude, thats so gross.
RYAN
I know! Its just so big and pink…
DANEIL
It just hangs there, doing nothing.
RYAN
I can’t help but stare at it.
DANIEL
You think he’d trim it from time to time if he’s going to keep it hanging there for the whole world to see.
RYAN
Who wants there thing to be untidy?!
DANIEL
My girlfriend keeps comparing my thing to his. He’s making me feel inferior.
RYAN
I know what you mean. I can’t even look at my thing anymore, it just disgusts me. I just wanna grab hold of his thing and rip it off.
DANIEL
You’ll need both hands.
THEY BOTH LAUGH BEFORE CATCHING EACH OTHERS EYE. SUDDENLY THE MOOD BECOMES DEADLY SERIOUS.
RYAN
When he gets here you pin him down and I’ll rip it off.
DANIEL
Deal…
ENTER MARK.
MARK IS WEARING A GIANT PINK MOUSTACHE.
DANIEL
Shhhh..here he comes.
MARK
Hey guys. I gave my thing a trim what do you think?
RYAN
GO GO GO GO GO!!!
BOTH FRIENDS CHARGE AND TACKLE MARK TO THE FLOOR. DANIEL IS PINNING HIM DOWN. RYAN IS WRESTLING WITH HIM TRYING TO RIP THE MOUSTACHE OFF HIS FACE.
MARK
No no no no no no!! NNNOOO!! Stop it. It’s senstive, NOOO!!
RYAN RIPS THE MOUSTACHE OFF.
MARK
My poor thing. Warfstache is dead!
THE END
