Be my cigarette

Chapter 1

Chapter one: "Day one in a mental hospital"

"What is love?" I asked the guy sitting next to me. The guy I saw for the first time was looking at me frowning. One side of his lip slightly curled up after squinting his brown eyes.

"Are you asking this to a stranger?"

Biting my lips, I said: "I can't see any other sane person here..."

"Naturally," he said playfully, sucking in another smoke from his cigarette. "We are in a mental hospital."

"But are we really mad?" I asked embarrassingly and lowered my eyes to my feet. Were we really mad? Or was it just our parents that thought so? Everyone around me told me I was behaving weird, but I just couldn't see it. I was the same old girl, yes, I grew up and did a few stupid things... But still was that enough to send me to a mental hospital? Just because I stalked a guy, I thought I was in love with... Just because of this they sent me to a mental hospital.

"I am," he said carelessly.

How could he act like this? Didn't he care about the fact that the was in a mental hospital? Was he really mentally ill?

"Seriously?" I asked shocked.

It just didn't make sense. How could someone talk about himself like this? I could never, I mean why would I accept this? I am not insane; every teenager girl does stupid things. That doesn't make me insane, right? I am still young, it's pretty normal for me to make mistakes. What matters is that I learn from my mistakes.

"Someone mad would never accept this," he said without even looking ones in my direction. He was looking everywhere except at me. He didn't even care enough to look at me and here I was trying to talk to him.

Still, I kind of liked the thing he said. Maybe we all are a little mad, we are all human beings so it's pretty normal. Isn't it? Maybe I wouldn't be here if I accepted this before. Maybe if I told my parents that what I did was wrong I wouldn't be here... Instead of accepting I kept yelling the following sentence: 'I am normal! There is nothing wrong with me!'

So yeah, this is my story. I am the new girl at the mental hospital. Not a normal mental hospital actually. I was yelling and telling my parents that they didn't care about me and just throw me away. And he responded with a smile: 'Don't worry sweetheart, it is a private hospital. Just for the rich kids, you will be perfectly fine there. Just focus on your health for a few months after that you can come back.'

So, this is how it all went. One moment I was yelling and a few hours later I was here, all alone. The nurse told me that the age here varies between sixteen and twenty-five.

"I am mad too," I said trying to look happy about it, but I couldn't just fake it long enough. I was feeling sad, really really sad. "Or I just fell in love with the wrong guy..."

Even if this was a private mental hospital, I still didn't like it here. I wanted to go home. I just wanted to go home and cuddle my mom.

He didn't talk. The only thing he did was blowing the smoke in my direction. He did it on purpose, because when I started coughing, I caught a glimpse of him smiling. He was trying to irritate me, but I wasn't just an easy girl. I was going to stay here, and he couldn't just make me run. If this is the way he wants to play the game, perfectly fine. I am going to deal with it.