All About a Boy

Prolouge

So... There's this boy I like... And well, I'm so afraid if he doesn't like me back. I have depression. It's gotten more severe over the years. I should probably sum up why. Well it started in 5th grade. Well earlier but 5th grade is when I got depression. It really all started in Kindergarden. All throughout elementary school, I didn't really have any friends... I thought I did, but they were fake. And I had no idea because I didn't know what a real friendship was like. I was picked on and teased and not many people liked me. Then, hallelujah! I moved. We went to apartments, unfortunately though, I was still required to go to the same elementary school. Not only that, but we had to give away one of the best pets and the one thing I loved more than any person at my school, Trinity, our Rottweiler who was the sweetest dog ever. She would protect me and was a fantastic guard dog. When I was a baby, if anyone approached me that she didn't know, she would growl at them and bark to scare them away, because she was my guardian. So when we got rid of her, I was heartbroken. Then I got a cat, to help with my issues at school when we moved to the apartments. His name was Simba and I got him at 6 months old. But not long after I got him, he fell ill, and nobody knew what was wrong with him. He stopped eating, he was puking all the time, and he always sat by the window. So we had to put him down. The doctor said if we hadn't had put him down, he probably would have died in the next three days. I was once again heartbroken. Moving to after 4th grade, we moved once again. To a suburban house in a new district but in the same county. I thought things would get better, which I guess they did, but they also went downhill. I actually had made a few close friends, but the bullying was worse there. I am just a bully magnet. They relentlessly picked on me, teased me, and called me such harsh things. Slut. Whore. Lonely. Ugly. No friends. Anything that came to their heads. I had some backup but it never really did stop. Then 6th grade came along. My friend, my first friend in fact, from 5th grade when I moved, Abby, had completely forgotten about me and changed into someone else. Being popular now and all, she had no room for me. But I met Summer. She has been with me from 5th grade. Though she seemed popular and not into me in fifth grade, just acknowledging I was there, but in 6th grade, we really got to know each other and became close friends. I also had met a guy named Jack. He was nice. We became good friends in 6th grade and at the time I was in a relationship with someone named Ethan who now is in a relationship with someone named Sarah but we all are still close friends. Throughout 7th grade, Jack and I were on and off in a relationship. Not because we were confused. But because Jack wasn't allowed to date yet and we didn't want his mom finding out. His dad was in the air force. My parents and his were good friends and we saw them often after school due to my brother and Jack's brother being on the same hockey team. So we passed the time and it was nice. By May 23rd, 2016, we decided to risk everything because when school ended, he would be moving across the country. We have been in a relationship since then until a few months ago. In March. Because the sheer pain and depression it caused us to have because we barely got to see each other, he was always busy, and things were going on in both of our lives and not only that but our friends were in relationships and I'm not sure with him, but with me, it seemed my friends had been showing it off, knowing we broke up and it was painful to do that. Something had happened with a guy named Ricky who I thought was a friend. He started treating me like shit, and insulted my way of life. I'm more of a redneck and more of a country person and he told me things like I should kill myself, etc. There was a point where he said he was going to start calling me an inbred redneck bitch. He asked me if I was stupid and needed the definition of inbred. He gave it anyways even though I knew and told a story with it. He said that I was conceived on the hood of a truck and then my parent got married and then my dad was so proud when he realized that he had sex with his sister and conceived me and he killed himself because he was so proud. It was awful. He did so many other things. He also, before the shit went down, warned me that people, who I thought were friends, were talking behind my back and saying things about me that were bad. But he didn't give me names or what they said, so I have major trust issues due to that. And with the relationships in my friend group, Ethan and Sarah, and Summer and Rylan, they always show their affection right when I'm there, knowing I'm still sore from things and then when I separate myself to get away, they get irritated and mad at me for it. So I'm a little numb with things but I still feel. It's complicated. There's so much more but it's about time I end this prologue and get to the chapters of my life. You'll be filled in more in chapters if it brings up a subject.