My name is Phoebe Goddard.
I live in Suffolk, England.
I suffer from misophonia.
At the time of writing this, misophonia is still a relatively unknown condition. Most doctors don’t even know of its existence yet. It’s because of this that I have found it so hard to talk to anyone about it.
It’s not like depression. Nobody’s heard of misophonia and you can’t just end the uncomfortable ‘coming out’ conversation at “I have misophonia” because the answer to that will just be: “what’s that?”.
I am definitely not saying that it’s easier to open up about depression; I know that it’s extremely difficult, however you have that knowledge that at least you won’t have to explain yourself. You won’t have to describe what the condition does to you. You don’t have to explain how it works.
I may only be fifteen years old, but I understand the stigma surrounding mental health. I know that it’s at the lowest levels for years; however that just isn’t good enough. People aren’t judged because they’ve broken a leg in an accident. It wasn’t their fault, but they were injured. It’s perfectly okay to ask how they’re doing isn’t it? You don’t have to think twice before asking your friend how he’s coping with a sprained wrist, so why do people think it’s so wrong to talk about mental health?
It’s a fact of life nowadays, just as people’s bodies get injured, so can their minds.
I am not saying that a person’s mental health should be all you talk about, but it shouldn’t be a topic of conversation to completely avoid.
The taboo surrounding mental disorders is outdated and not right for our society today. People should be accepting of each other and we should all help each other through these difficult times.
As I mentioned, nobody really understands misophonia. There is no known cure and the only option available right now is hypnotherapy, with no promising results so far. Of course, people have their own solutions. There’s the ear plugs, the headphones, the completely-avoiding-all-contact-with-anyone-in-the-outside-world. And then there’s my personal favourite; leaving the room if I hear a trigger sound. Or, if that’s not an available option, just sit there and stew in my rage, discomfort and anxiety until the sound goes away. I know healthy right?
So for those of you who don’t know, and I’m guessing that’s most of you, misophonia is a neurological condition that cause a ‘hatred of sounds’. Although nothing is certain as of yet, it is thought that misophonia is as a result of extra-strong connections between the auditory nerves and the limbic system (in other words, the nerve that picks up and transmits to your brain that you’ve heard a sound and the part of your brain responsible for emotions). This extra-strong connection causes emotional responses to simple sounds that other people may not even notice.
You can think about it like this; when you hear a person screaming, fear, sadness and discomfort are often the emotions enlisted. And when you hear somebody laughing happily you often feel happy yourself. These emotions may only last a second, you may not even notice them at all, but they’re there. It’s like a reflex reaction; you don’t think about it, it just happens.
Now imagine when you hear simple sounds like chewing, breathing, tapping on desks, even typing (I’m struggling right now to be honest), an irrational emotional response is elicited. The feeling is also much, much stronger than with other people, and the emotion accompanied is often rage, as well as feeling overwhelming anxiety.
It often evokes a fight or flight response within the sufferer; the sound has to be stopped or you have to get away from the sound. Personally, I usually find myself fleeing from a room when others are eating food, I just can’t take it.
So that’s me.
I’m a fifteen year old girl from a small town in the United Kingdom, suffering with a rare mental condition very little people know about and nobody to talk to about it.
I apologise for my ramblings, but I need some way of expressing my thoughts right now, and I have yet to come up with the courage to tell my friends. I hope you understand, and I will be adding to this as my mind conjures up more thoughts or just to talk about how I'm feeling. This is lik a relese for me.
Thank you X
