Heart of Ice

Heart

Novels often romanticize first times; according to novels, first times are supposed to feel like magic, like the relief of sexual tension, like an experience which lifts them from the ground and launches them into a different realm.

But it wasn't quite like that in real life, Yewon realized. It was not the "explosion of passion" that happens when a married couple sleeps together for the first time when Seungcheol and Yewon finally consummated. There was restraint on Seungcheol's part, which in turn made her tense which resulted in quite the awkward interaction.

Although she tried not to, she found herself comparing the two brothers: they were very different, and Soonyoung was, by a long way, more keen and therefore more able to make the experience pleasurable.

She tried to shake away those comparisons; it was disgraceful and weird, she thought, to think of anyone who was not her husband as better in bed, let alone her brother-in-law. But her husband's brother was the only point of comparison she had, and she couldn't help it.

When it was finished and Seungcheol collapsed on the pillow beside her, Yewon was relieved that it was over. She opened her eyes (which stayed closed throughout the experience), and turned to him.

Seungcheol rubbed his forehead, obviously uncomfortable about the way it turned out. Afraid that this awkward encounter would affect the good relationship that was forming between them, Yewon felt the need to not let the silence drag on for too long.

"Thank you," she said, turning to her side to face him.

"For what?" Seungcheol murmured in between his breaths, "I couldn't do anything for you." He seemed regretful about that.

"You did all you needed to. I only care about getting pregnant."

He let out a sigh and continued rubbing his forehead, and it was only then that Yewon really paid attention to Seungcheol's bare skin. As her eyes had been closed, she hadn't noticed just how many bruises and scars he had all over his body. One notable one was the bruise on his arm which she remembered from when he was a prisoner in Galacia. Wanting something to talk about as to not prolong the awkward silence, she asked him about it.

"Does it hurt," she asked, hesitantly pointing to it.

"Not anymore," he answered after glancing at where she was pointing.

"How did you get it?"

"It was when I was taken hostage, one of your soldiers slashed my arm as punishment for not cooperating," Seungcheol answered.

Talking about something else besides what had just transpired between seemed to help bring down the tension, she thought. Yewon was eager to keep it going, eager to distract both herself and him from the uncomfortable experience and restore their former state. She wasn't going to let awkward tension undo the development of their relationship, and so her eyes scanned him for something else to talk about.

Seungcheol's body had a lot of scars, so it wasn't hard to find something. There were a lot of recent marks on his skin, probably from his time as a hostage, but there were also some that were clearly much older than that. She saw the beginning of quite a visible scar over his upper chest, the majority of it hidden under the covers of his bed. She pulled down the covers slightly to expose more of it.

"Where did you get this one from?" she asked him as she hesitantly traced her finger over it. "It looks like it could have been fatal." It was right over where his heart was.

"It should have been fatal," Seungcheol replied stiffly. "I wish it was."

"Tell me more about it," she requested, pulling her hand back.