Dear | Choi Youngjae [✘]

Dear Choi Youngjae,

   I've had my biases, I've betrayed my biases, and I've switched my biases. All in the end, being led to you, Choi Youngjae. It's been a very long time since I've stayed loyal to someone, It's amazing since you have no idea that I exist. You make me happy whenever I'm sad as possible, I would always go dumb for you. My mind is set on you 24/7, whenever I'm in school, my friend's house, the library, in the car, at my house, just anywhere, I think of you wondering if you're okay, if you're doing great, if you aren't stressing yourself out. I worry about you when I'm not exactly in the position to do so, but a fan, an ahgase fits in that position. I love every single thing about you, even if it's the bad things, I see no flaws whenever my eyes meets yours on the computer screen. Your hair, the way it looks so good in natural colors although I'd love to see you in light-darkish purple. The way your jaw is shaped oh so fine, not sharp, but not blocky at all, it's perfect as it is. The way your ears look so cute. I could name everything of your body of what I'm so proud of, even the part where I'm not supposed to look at but I'd seem like a weirdo even though I embrace the way I am. The mole under your right eye, the mole by your hairline, the mole on your neck, the mole on your back, the more moles you possibly have anywhere else on your body that I have not seen yet, I love those so much, I think of kissing ever single one of them because of how special they are. Your beautifully shaped lips which I will say, have thought of messing them up with my own. Honestly speaking of your neck, I've dreamed of placing love bites on them. Don't get me started with the tattoos you have on each upper arm. It is definitely a turn-on but a shame you hide it, I actually wish to see it often so I can adore the permanent ink on your arms. Your squishy baby arms which I'm fine seeing, I don't care if you don't look muscular at all to be honest. Your fingers? HAHAHA. It gets very kinky when it comes to your fingers so I'll pass that ;-). Your thighs, mhm honey boo I went there. It's also very kinky from down there and on. Actually from the top of your head to the bottom of your bare feet is kinky, I need to stop. Your normal voice makes me feel like all my problems has been solved, your opera singing voice makes me want to sing along even if I was never a great singer since birth, your laugh is music to my ears as it's as loud as mine and adorable. The pain you experienced in the past which encouraged you to write the songs you have now, (Trauma, My Day & Call Button which you should actually go ahead and listen to it loll). It's inspiring the way you write song lyrics, the deep meanings in it that make me shed tears. The way you dress is so, how can I say.. fabulous. Whatever that could look ugly on me, would look so good on you, basically anything ugly can become a trend if you wear it honestly. You're so very special when it comes to talking about you because I change when you're mentioned. Also, your veins are my kink lol. You're like a crush that doesn't come & go but a crush that I would love to stay & forever be with me. I know that having a chance to meet you would highly be unlikely and having a chance to hang out with you would also highly be unlikely. My goal has been the same ever since I started stanning you, Choi Youngjae. It's been my goal to meet you before I die, before the group disbands. In 4-5 years, I'll be legal and I could travel on my own free-will. I could do whatever it takes to get a ticket for the front row seat in a GOT7 concert, and a ticket for the Hi-Touch. I've been doing everything to have you keep me company since basically all I ask for is anything Youngjae related, being honest. As I am, getting a Youngjae key ring.. Youngjae Brooch.. and I've already claimed 3-4 photos of Youngjae from a printer, multiple Youngjae photocards from GOT7 photocard stack, a Youngjae photocard stack, and drawings of him as I need to get my binder back.. lol. Now, besides my bragging, you make me so very happy and I don't think I've talked about this yet if I did then I'm sorry lmao. Since I have really pissy sisters, the things I watch to calm me down would always result in something having you in the title and just the little things you do can bright my whole world up. Call me a super ahgase because I'd want to be the first one to say "I love you Choi Youngjae" in front of his face with passion and sincerity  unless someone else already did that tsk. What more can I say honestly? The fact that I've written 4-5 appreciation letters about him? CAN YOU BELIEVE I FORGOT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART ABOUT YOUNGJAE IM SUCH A BAD STAN I CANT EVNE- Your broken English is what I live for but I also hope it get's better so you wouldn't be frustrated trying to find the right words to use and the pronunciation. "My name is Youngjae" and my name is Jesabel. Your ahgase who loves you to the moon and back, the one who'd support everything you'd do even if a million people are against it. It'll be sad when the day comes and you get married, have kids and probably won't be in the band anymore. I would be weird still stanning you but I wouldn't care, you're still the Choi Youngjae I will forever love with all my heart, I'd be like the female Yoongi stan who would scream that she'll sue him for making her feel so love-crazy. I'll do my best to make my ring finger empty until I can no longer do that. Youngjae, you're my everything from then to the future. Please keep doing what you're doing, don't ever disbelieve in yourself and never give up. What you do is most important to me, especially your health so take care of yourself too and don't be a hypocrite like (imma call u out jackson im sorry man) Jackson when he tells us to be healthy when he isn't being healthy himself. Don't stress yourself out, I love you Choi Youngjae. The prince in my world, the king in my fantasy world.