A NOVEL'S MUSE

멀어질 것 같아서

"가까이 다가가고 싶었지만, 가까이 다가갈 수 없었습니다.
내가 가까이 다가가면, 다가가는 만큼
그대가 멀어질 것 같아서."
-이정하

"Although I wanted to come closer,
I couldn't possibly go closer
because the more I come closer,
I felt that the more you will drift away from me."

Kim Sohye

Get your act together, Sohye.

That's what I kept on telling myself the moment I stepped out of the house for school.

Mom bade goodbye with a good luck kiss on my forehead.

Just by the way her eyes widened at me with that forced smile when I was marching away, I know it wasn't meant to cheer me up, but to warn me about the consequences I might face if I get dropped back to B.

To be honest, it is still a puzzle for me how I got in for Class A.

Sure I did work hard last year to the point that I rap in English for practice to pass my speech exam. But my only goal that time is to maintain my slot in Class B.

It's still surreal and I'm not sure if I'll ever get used to this new environment.

These people around me are good in class with minimal effort and I'm pretty sure my grades that are yielded from studying hard till my eyes are out would still not equate to this class' lowest-ranking student.

The truth is I just crawled my way up here. I couldn't even count the pimples I had to flatten with ice every morning after an overnight study.

Outcast.

That's the perfect depiction of what my role is in this flock of kids.

I cannot explain how I felt sitting in the room together with the original pilot section students.
They must have been really smart for being in this class since middle school and I'm this privileged girl who gets to taste royalty like a dog given with leftovers.

It's a tough competition in Dobong's. As kids, we were raised here to be very competitive in school, even if it might cost you your social life. That's never a priority.
Or maybe that's only my case.

Five minutes before the class started and I was still alone in this 2-person desk until Joo Haknyeon arrived.

Even if there were still few seats empty, he took the seat next to mine without hesitation.

I gulped louder than necessary.

Joo Haknyeon is the celebrity kid in school. He's a trainee of a big company in the country.

He also appeared in countless commercial films since he was young. With me sitting beside him, he'll shine more while I'll be accentuated as the ugly girl lucky enough to breathe the same air with a star.

At first sight, Haknyeon is really charming, especially when he gives off that huge, beautiful smile.

I swear it's adorable.

However, rumor has it that he's not very sociable in real life and that he's very mean and inconsiderate to people he doesn't classify as the same level as him, at least that's what the girls he rejected said.