I'm not "pretty for a big girl" I'm pretty PERIOD.

Austintina Fuertes has always had a problem with her self esteem. One day she thinks shes the most beautiful girl in the world and no one can tell her other wise and the next day shes crying and complaining that she's too short or she's not pretty enough but the biggest problem she has is her weight she's always talking about how she's too FAT. Her story starts in Texas her home town and where she's lived for almost her whole life despite the fact she was born in Mexico but her house was invaded, destroyed and robbed by one of the vicious gangs in her village where she used to live.

My name is Austintina but people call me Austin or Tina or my "favorite one" FATTY TINA. I beleive them because i've always had these weight issues all my life! I was born weighing in at about 9 pounds 7 ounces. Yeah I know I was a big baby but I also looked like a boy. I try to ignore these people but it doesn't work and I can't talk to my mom about it anymore because she just tells me one thing: PUNCH THE LITTLE GIRLS IN THE FACE IF THEY ARE IN NEED OF IT SHOW THEM WHO'S BOSS!!! When I was little she would always be telling me violence ain't the answer but now she is telling me other wise. I don't understand! I ask myself the same question over and over again why, Why ME? I guess it doen't matter any how.

"Look it's Austin guys!!!" "Yeah look at her and her big thighs too!" "HAHAHAHAHAHA" The whole lunchroom was laughing at me but why? What had I done to them to make them treat me like this? I did absolutely nothing to hurt them yet they hurt me in all kinds of ways like in grade 5 I started cutting in grade 6 I didn't like participating in gym because all the other girls who I'm in gym with would be skinnier than me and that made me so mad because they were getting skinnier and I was getting bigger.

It really bothered me so much but then I felt like something changed and I think it changed because I found that someone to make you feel like the sun come up every day because you're excited to live another day his name you ask? It's 10th grader Caleb Conor! I didn't care if he was a year older than I and in a seperate grade he still gave the butterflies I like to feel in my stomach for him just looking, smiling then waving I felt good around him I felt secure and it was so nice to know someone like him actually noticed me!!! His hair is so beatiful brown his eyes are covered by his hair and glasses but they are still wonderfull. He never made fun of me and he accepted that I liked him and that was the amazing part about him I think.

"Hey Austin!" Cambridge my Best Friend said "What's up?" Cambridge was the one person I think I needed in my life at this point and lets face it and tell the truth she needed me too she was always getting in troulbe either at school or at home and she was always cutting and trying to kill herself so I would always calm her down make her put the razor away wipe her tears and take away the pain from her heart and I honestly think I was that someone for her she was a really nice girl and she was just so nice to me and I guess that's why we're friends. "I'm doing pretty good considering how hard I'm falling for Caleb he's just so good Cam he makes me feel amazing and like he completes me!" I said in all honesty being that I can't lie to Cambridge.

"Hey Tina!" Kalista said rushing to me and Cam so she could sit with us at lunch like she always does. Kalista had once admitted to cutting she confessed in grade 5 and when I told her that I did too we did it together in grade 6 we were still friends and planned on going to Harvard that way we can be in California together and Kalista was fromthere so we could also go see some of her family and stay with them if we had to.