Chapter 1

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“Please , please don’t do this.” I pleaded. He didn’t listen I saw his hand fly into the air coming straight for my face. I closed my eyes and waited for it to come but it never did. I jolted awake tears streamed down my face, my hands shook with such force that I couldn’t even pick up my glass of water.  That I kept by my little make shift nightstand made out of boxes.

 The nightmares were a regular occurrence, they happened every night. You would think I would be used to it reliving every horrible detail of my past through my dreams, but I wasn’t. Every night was the same. I woke up started in my bed, my white tank top soaked through and my hands shook uncontrollably.

I looked over at my alarm clock “5 a.m.! You have got to be joking.” I groaned and rolled myself of my sheets. I undressed and I turned the shower on as hot as I could stand, hoping to wash away the nightmare.

After I got dressed in my usual jeans and a hoodie,  I raced down the stairs to the kitchen. To my surprise my older brother, Jason was home already from work. He worked the night shift as a security guard at the local museum and was never home until after I had already left for school.  He looked up from the sports section of the news paper  “hey kiddo, surprised?” he said with a slight amused look in his eyes.

I hadn’t realized I had looked so shocked, I mentally shook the feeling off and walked over to give him a hug. We never saw each other much, you know with the opposite schedules an all. He had been taken care of me for along time, ever since I was 11 years old. That was 5 years ago. Our father was a no good drunk who beat us up. But Jason being my hero never let him lay a hand on me.

I remember the day we left so well it could have been yesterday, ha! Might as well have been, that day woke me up from my sleep every night.  It was my birthday and Jason was over at a friends house only after I swore to him I would be fine until he got back. I always felt so bad for him, he spent everyday with me trying to protect me from our father, and since our mother ditched when I was five we were all each other had.

After he left I had went to my room knowing that I would be safe..or so I thought. I had heard the front door slam shut, and I knew my dad was home, probably drunk, and from the sound of the slam very angry. I heard the thud of his boots come up the stairs. I couldn’t help the way my hands shook.

He swung the door open with such force it made a whole where the door handle had hit the light blue painted wall. He looked at me with such hatred and anger that I knew what was about to happen. He stomped his way over to me and I knew better then to beg but I couldn’t help it I was so scared.

“Please, please don’t do this!” I could hear the fear in my own voice and I knew he could to. That only made him angrier. I saw his hand fly up in the air coming straight for my face. I shut my eyes preparing myself for the blow. His hand flew across my face with such a force that my had snapped to the side and I immediately felt the sting on my cheek.

I couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down my face, he grabbed me by the shoulder and threw me into the wall. I slumped to the floor with a searing pain shooting up my left should and down into my arm. He laughed “You’re just like your mother, pathetic!” he spat the words and kicked me one good time in the ribs with his steal toe boots and I swear I heard the crack as my rib broke.

Jason had come home a couple hours later. Dad had already left for the local bar. He called my name and I so bad wanted to call out but I couldn’t. Everything hurt so bad even breathing. He found me in my room broken and bloodied.

Looking at my brother now, I could see the fatigue written across his face. He had dark circles and bags under his bloodshot eyes. His face seemed to have lost a lot of its natural color. I looked at him and was about to lecture him, again, about taking it easy.

I was a big girl I could get a job now to I was 16 not 6 but he would never hear it. I swear he is going to work himself to death.  As soon as I opened my mouth, I mean literately I didn’t even say anything, and I heard him groan. I slapped his arm and he just smiled.

“Jason, please will you at least take a few days off and re-group, go out make friends get a girlfriend, or just a life.  Look big brother I am perfectly old enough to be left alone and I am old enough to get a job to start helping you out!” I was almost yelling, I grimaced slightly I never raised my voice ever.

“I know, Marissa. I just you know what happened the last time I left you alone. I hear you every night you know. I hear how you wake up screaming and how you shower almost like you willing the nightmare down the drain.” I looked at him my eyes almost as if on cue filled with tears. I had tried to not let him know about the dreams, I didn’t want to upset him. Wow, way to go Marissa.

“I..I uhm I didn’t realize you heard me. I am so sorry Jason I tried to not upset you. I didn’t want you to think you had to worry about me I’m fine” I realized the moment the words left my mouth that I sounded just like him. He didn’t miss it either he had a small smile playing at the edge of his lips.

I groaned and this got me a full laugh something I haven’t heard from him in forever. I loved it when he laughed it made me happy. “ugh! Jason look what your doing to me!”

“aww come one baby sister how bad is it to be like you older brother?” he was still smiling that big smile and I couldn’t help but smile too I could never stay mad at him.

“okay fin it isn’t that bad, but I have to go to school or I am gonna be late,” I hugged him again and kissed his check

“eww! You know you don’t have to like your lips before you kiss my cheek! Your practically liked me” he tried to sound upset but I knew he was smiling

“ huh, well I guess I will keep that in mind”

I rushed out the door and fast walked to school.

The moment I reached the big blue doors that led to my personal hell I let out a sigh, knowing I would just have to suck it up. I pulled my hood of my jacket over my long blonde hair and went straight to class.

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