Monday, March 10
I didn't want to go to school that day. But I had to get up and keep going. I had to stay strong for my friends and family. I couldn't let them down. So I got up and got dressed. Put on some makeup and did my hair. Put that fake smile on and went to hell (aka school). First period and second period were so boring. People kept looking at me like I was stupid or something. Nobody talked to me. Which is why I was wondering why I felt so depressed? Probably because no one was there for me. I just felt so alone. I asked the teacher if I could use a pencil sharpener, grabbed a bobby pin from my book bag, and went to the bathroom. I got the blade and and went in around 2 inches deep. When I got done I put my hoodie back on and acted like nothing ever happened. Then fourth period was the worst. All they did was stare at me and talk about me. These guys even have a secret language to talk about me and my friend. All they do it talk about us the whole time. So me and my friend went to the bathroom and cut. When we came back, like 20 minutes later, I pulled my sleeve up to scratch my arm, and the guys that make fun of me saw my arm. Then later after school he messaged me. "Why do you do that?" "That's so stupid." "You're a freak." "Kill yourself." I couldn't take it anymore. I ran in my bathroom and cut myself really deep. Blood was going all down my arm and I thought I was gonna die tbh. But I didn't care. If I ever go to far I won't care and I never will.
