The Monster Inside

Prologue; Introduction

Chapter 1•

People don't understand me. At least it's seemed that way since birth. Nobody dares to ask if I'm okay, never mind say "hi". When I still spoke to mother and father, they told me I was a special baby, that I had unique talents and gifts. They'd say I was bright and creative, but that changed when I started high school.

It all became apparent to me freshman year. I had my friends around me and everything seemed fine. But for some reason I was cursed with these looming shadows and rambling voices. It wasn't long until my friends became distant. They feared the things that were happening to me. When I'd try to explain it they must've thought I was going insane.

What if that "unique talent" my parents foresaw in me as a child was just that I'd be stuck with these scary images that didn't exist in a healthy person's mind? Maybe I'm just mad, but I don't understand what I've done to deserve this sort of punishment. I was only 14 when I got it, and it's only been tearing me apart since then. I was a straight B student and I didn't mind school. But all of a sudden it's become a terrible struggle. I just want it to end, honestly.

"Why do you lay in bed like that?" A voice crept in my head again, more boldly than the other cloudy whispers. "Please be quiet." I whispered. Of course this wouldn't make it stop but I was hoping it would make the voices a little quieter. My eyes trailed across the ceiling until they landed on a shadowy figure in the corner of my room.

I jumped and scooted closer to my pillow. "Damian...what do you want?" The figure didn't move, an echoey voice trailed into my head. "You seemed sad." I took a pillow and placed it against my chest. "Maybe so, but only because I haven't always been this way."

The shadow was puzzled. "I've always known you and you've never changed." It sounded creepy, but he wasn't real. He was a piece of me. Him appearing to me wasn't necessarily MY choice, but subconsciously I wanted him there. And has he stated, he's always been inside my head. He just got the opportunity to roam about now.

"Could you please leave me alone? I enjoy your company but I just want to think by myself for a little while." He chuckled but was gone in a blink of an eye. He was never totally gone, so asking him to go away was humorous. Having schizophrenia made thinking by myself hard.

The voices usually chose everything for me, because they'd banter and argue if I didn't.

I can only hope that being in college would help calm me down a little bit. I know it won't cure me, but hopefully the freedom will let me make some of my own decisions. I know Damian will be helpful sometimes, I'm also aware of all the evil voices inside my head. They aren't pleasant, but those are the kinds of things I have to live with. I really need sleep now, it's nearly 2 a.m. and I have a lecture in the morning.