Before you read this chapter, I'd like to say that what I'm writing is from experience. I, myself, and my mom have PTSD, so anyone who says what I'm writing is wrong or something along those lines, this is what I know about the mental illness from experience. Though, what I'm writing is a bit more extreme than anything that has happened to me.
Also, do you guys think Shelby and Audrey should go to the house and risk death, or opt out and be granted to stay alive? I'm leaving that up to you guys.
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Audrey wakes with the sound of whimpering. Her brows furrow as she turns to Shelby. She squints through the darkness, and sees the woman still asleep. Another whimper comes from her lips.
"Shelby," she whispers softly.
"N-no... no, Matt." Shelby mummers in her sleep.
Audrey sits up, and turns on the side table lamp. Shelby still doesn't wake. She looked over just in time. Shelby lets out a shriek, and starts to sob, yet still asleep.
Audrey jumps, and realizes her lover is having a nightmare. She grabs hold of Shelby's shoulders, and gentle shakes her. "Wake up."
The younger woman jumps away from Audrey as she wakes up. Shelby falls off the bed, and crawls backwards until she hits the wall. The tears in her eyes blur her vision as she looks up. Her breathing is staggered as her sobs become worse.
Audrey gets up from the bed, and slowly walks over to Shelby. "Shelby, it's just me. Honey, it's Audrey." She says softly as she kneels down in front of the woman.
The actresses accent brings Shelby to the realization that her nightmare was only a nightmare. She lunges forward and wraps her arms around Audrey's neck.
The older woman returns the action, and helps her up off the floor. She helps Shelby back onto the bed, and wraps the blanket around her. She grabs a tissue and cleans off the woman's face.
"Are you okay?" Audrey asks is a soft tone.
"I-I'm sorry," is all Shelby can get out.
She never wanted Audrey to see this side of her. She thought that this was all over.
"Love," Audrey sighs, and brings her hand up to cup her lover's cheek, but Shelby jumps back. She pulls her hand away, and rest it on the woman's knee. "You don't have to be sorry. I'm just worried about you. Are you okay? Is there anything I can get you?" She asks.
Shelby nods slowly. "I-in my uh, in my bag in the extra bedroom, there's uh, some pills. Can you bring the bag?"
"Yes, I'll be right back." Audrey got off the bed, and left the room.
Shelby sighs, and silently waits. She starts to rock herself, remembering that it's something that might help. She looks up, and sees her lover come back into the room with her bag, and a glass of water.
"I got some water too." Audrey offers a smile as she sets it on the nightstand.
"Thank you."
The younger blonde takes the bag, and looks through the four bottles she has. She grabs the one, and pops the top. She pours one pill into her hand and takes it, followed by the water.
"Can I ask what you just took?" They actress asks.
"It was a Xanax." Shelby explains before zipping up the bag, and placing it on the nightstand top. "Sit down, and I'll explain." She says with a sigh.
Audrey nods, and sits across from her lover at the end of their king sized bed.
"I have PTSD."
"What's that?"
"Post traumatic stress disorder. I was diagnosed with it after Roanoke. Basically, I'm fucked up in the head." She says, and looks down at her hands, wanting to avoid eye contact at all cost.
"Shelby, love, you're not 'fucked up in the head.'" Audrey reaches her hands out, and takes grasp of the other woman's.
"I am to a point. It's not as bad as it used to. I actually haven't had a nightmare in months. I thought I was getting better... I guess not."
"Do you think it was the talk of going back?"
The woman nods slowly. "Wh-when Sidney said what he did, I-I felt it. I felt the anxiety, a-and the-the panic in my chest. It makes me f-feel like I can't breathe." She takes a deep breathe as she feels the feeling come back. "I th-thought about it last night... going back. I tho-thought you know, maybe I can do it?" Shelby finally looks up. "A-and I can't. I-I c-can't do this. I-I'll go insane... o-or I'll die." By the last work Shelby starts to sob again.
Audrey pulls the woman into her lap, and holds her close. She didn't want Shelby to go if it was causing her to feel this way now, she couldn't imagine what it would be like there. But, part of her did want to go, and see if Shelby could concur her fears. To see if it was all true. She wasn't sure, part of her believed it because of how much it upset Shelby, but she still wasn't a hundred percent on it.
"Shh," she coos softly, and rocks the woman in her arms as she cries.
Shelby felt herself start to calm down due to the medication, and Audrey. She rests her head in the crook the the actresses neck as she closes her eyes.
"I love you," she says softly before yawning.
"I love you too, my darling sweetheart." Audrey said softly.
The older blonde moves so she can lay down, still holding Shelby close to her. She reaches over and turns the light off. She pulls another blanket over top of them, and runs her fingers along the long, slightly curled, dirty blonde locks of her lover.
As she goes to speak, she earns a small, cute snore from Shelby. She smiles to herself before closing her eyes.
