It was a hot Thursday afternoon, and Sonic was in his room. He was jerking it really fucking fast and thumbing himself in the butt at the same time. He was so fucking sweaty that he squeaked every time he stroked his blue hedgehog cock.
Sonic's mom heard the squeaking and came upstairs to see what it was.
"Hey sweetie, what's tha-" she asked until seeing her son's sweaty little fucking hand on his tiny little fucking blue dick, his little fucking thumb up his tight hedgehog pooper, and a picture of a big green ass on his computer screen.
"What the fuck is this shit?! I didn't raise no fucking queer! Who the fuck jacks off to some green ass? Kill yourself, you useless little fuck. You're no son of mine," she shouted.
"Fuck you mom! This is my life! You don't fucking know me! And it's not just some green ass, it's fucking Shrek's ass, K?" Sonic screamed back.
"Fucking queer. I have some rope in the closet if you decide to do us all a favor and kill yourself."
"Maybe I fucking will!"
Sonic's mom stepped out of the room and slammed the door shut, at which time Sonic came all over his computer monitor.
Sonic decided to check the closet for the rope his mom was talking about. To his surprise, it was filled with rope, razor blades, and prescription drugs, as well as one noose already tied, with a sticky note on it that read "Do it faggot ;)."
He took the noosed rope and tied it to his ceiling fan and pulled a chair into the middle of the room, directly under the rope.
Sonic climbed on the chair and put his head through the noose. He tightened the hold around his neck, but before he could even think about jumping, Sonic realized that his little blue member was starting to poke out again. The asphyxiation excited him, so he began masturbating again.
Sonic's heart was beating so loudly that he couldn't hear his mother behind the door, announcing that she was about to come in with his dinner, and that he "better not still be fucking jacking off."
She opened the door, saw Sonic mid-suicide and mid-jerk, and proceeded to throw the whole fucking bowl of pasta at him and close the door.
Sonic took a bit of the sauce, tasted it, and shed a tear because it didn't have onions, as he liked his food to have layers.
It was at this moment that Sonic knew that his time had come. He would end all of this suffering, so he could go and live with The Big Ogre in The Swamp in the Sky.
Relaxingly, Sonic whispered, "My time here is finally ogre," and he jumped off the chair.
It took Sonic a second to realize that he hadn't fallen far, as he was balancing on something between his legs.
Sonic looked down, and to his amazement he saw a huge fucking green cock between his legs.
I'm not kidding, that shit had to be like 4 feet in length and half a foot in diameter.
But Sonic didn't care about the size, he was just glad it was there.
"I've waited my entire life for this day," Sonic says.
"It's not ogre yet," Shrek replies.
"I want you."
"Get ready."
"I'm ready for you."
"I'm about to rek ur fukn buthole."
