We are Broken

Prologue

{Warning, there is mention of Suicide. If it is a tough subject, I would skip the scene. There should be a ↑ & ↓ to tell you that the scene starts and ends. Okay, Thank you}

The Second Wizarding War has ended, and Voldemort has lost. Hermione, Harry and Ron have survived the whole ordeal. Hermione was able to revive the potions master, and everything had changed. Students and Staff have have lost there life for the better of the Wizarding world and would be dearly missed. A week after, they held a memorial service for both sides of the war to grieve and say good by to their colleagues, friends, and loved ones.

A few months have passed since the war, and her friends have been unable to come back to Hogwarts due to the damage the war has inflicted on them. Her friends pursued jobs, that they have requirements for. Harry and Ron have become Aurors, Ginny became a Quidditch Player for the Holyhead Harpes; Luna has become a Wizarding Naturalist, and Neville has become the new Herbology Professor. Since the war, things had changed between Hermione and her Lover Severus. Hermione hardly smiled or laughed any more, she didn't read much which was unlike her.

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Also she avoided making love to him, reminding her of a time during the war she wished she could forget. Severus didn't change as much, he has been sour and mean to others as usual. They fought more since the war, and he wished he would have died that day. He didn't know why, but that was how he felt. There was one attempt of suicide while Hermione was away shopping for groceries, because she wanted to save the house elves from working so much.

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Luckily Madame Pomfrey came to speak about his sleeping patterns, when she saw trying to bleed to death on the floor of his room. She quickly cleaned the blood, and apperated to the infirmary. Quickly giving him a blood replenishing potion, replacing his blood he lost and his wounds healed.

"How could you do this Severus! You could have died, everyone would have been devastated. Including that Gryffindor girl. Why are you doing this?!" Pomfrey exclaimed, tears threatening to escape.

"I honestly don't know Poppy, but since the war... I don't know. I feel like had supposed to for that day."

"Severus, you are alive and in love. There are many things to live for."

"I know I took the cowards way out, but I can't seem to see what to live for. My purpose is done, I protected Lily's son and his friends. I don't know what else to do."

"You are the Headmaster Severus, you can't just give up. You are to be an example to the students and Staff of this school!"

He visibly rolled his eyes, he didn't want to talk about this any more.

"Promise you will keep this from Hermione." He said sincerely, he didn't ever want her to see or hear of  him in his suicidal state ever.

"You can't expect me to do that Severus, she deserves to know. To stop you if she can."

His expression immediately changed, one that Poppy never seen on Severus. He looked very angry, a look that could kill.

"Poppy, I don't want her to know. Promise me you will not...tell her!" He said through clenched teeth.

Taking a deep breath, she thought she should at least say she wouldn't to him. But if it becomes dire, Hermione will be informed.

"I Promise."

He didn't completely believe her, but left it at that.

"You need more sleep, this isn't healthy. Take this Sleeping Draught, you know what it does."

He nodded, thanking her before returning to his chambers.

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Hermione came back from grocery shopping, almost having a row with the card machine. She went to the muggle world. She missed it, took it all in when she was there. She placed the bags on the counter when she noticed that he wasn't there, she continued to put everything away although she was slightly worried. As she finished, she was about to go looking for him as he entered.

A sigh of relief escaped her lips before asking him.

"Were have you been? I was worried."

"It is none of your concern." He replied naturally.

"Of course it is, I am your girlfriend...remember?"

"Still none of your concern, how was shopping?" He asked, trying to change the subject.

Not wanting another row with him, she gave in.

"Fine, how was your day?" She asked.

"Oh, grading papers and headmaster stuff. It was okay."

She nodded.

"I'm feeling tired, I will be in the bedroom if you need me." She said, as she left without a word.

Severus watched her as she left, what caused the woman he loved to change so drastically? They hardly kissed anymore, they haven't had intercourse since after the war. It was strange, but Severus didn't know how to bring it up and discuss it.
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Back in the bedroom, Hermione was able to break down and cry alone. She has been sad and depressed since the war. Almost crying or feeling depressed every day, she found it harder to cry in front of Severus when it was easier before the war. She didn't know why.  She changed into her red knee length night gown as tears streamed down her face. Getting into his slytherin themed sheets. She missed her friends, her family. She missed Remus and Tonks, Fred and more who lost their lives. She couldn't face her friends, not now. Not when she was not like her old self. Her head hit the soft pillow, and cried herself to sleep.

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Severus was in his study now, staring at the flames as he already downed half his bottle of fire whiskey. Tiredness hit him, he placed his bottle back in the cupboard and made his way to the bedroom. Changing just into his boxers before getting into bed. Seeing Hermione's sleeping face, he couldn't help but kiss her lips.

Looking at the sleeping draught, he debated to take it. Not wanting to wake up to war nightmares. He decided to take it, instantly falling asleep.

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Thank you all for reading, I know it is sad and depressing but I promise it should get better as the story goes on. Next chapter there should be a unexpected visitor. Have a lovely day and I will try to update it tomorrow.