The sun started getting warmer on my skin. With every bright ray of sunshine across the sky, my heart started squeezing more painfully as each morning I woke up and looked out the window and saw the puddles slowly drying up. If nasa States ako, siguro unti unti nang nagmemelt ang snow.
The worst finally happenned today.
It was 3:00 PM, and I started to gather my stuff. Galing ako sa work, and today had been too monotonous, if not boring. As I was walking across the park, through my shortcut papunta sa isang fastfood chain, a very hot breeze started blowing. The leaves swirled around me in a familiar dance, and all at once the memories I tried so hard to repress over the years hit me hard. Para akong sinuntok. In the gut. In the heart.
Slowly, I sat down on the nearest bench, clutching my handbag at nakayuko para maitago ang mga luhang ayaw tumigil. Very quietly, I sobbed and sobbed on that park bench, where every sound and every smell and everything reminded me of the past. Little by little, I let the memories overwhelm me.
SEVEN YEARS AGO
I entered the cafe and looked around for an empty seat. Napansin ko'ng medyo marami di'ng tako kasi rush hour. And luckily, may vacant naman.
I sat down on a beanbag, my favorite feature in this place, and pulled out my phone and sent a quick message to my bestfriend, France.
M: Hey, where r u? don't make me wait lyk last tym :<
F: O M G
M: fraaaaance.
F: SORRY BRAD SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY TALAGA OMG O M G SORRYYYYYYY HANNAH
M: uuuugh frans naman
F: Sorry na han, am @ the ssg meeting & i CANT get away pls i swear i'll make it up to you nxt tym :( <3
M: that's what u said last tym, rmmber? but fine. watevr.
M: PERO LAST NA TO OR NXT TYM I WILL MURDER U I SWEAR >>>:O
F: eeeh ur so sweet thanks ilysm han thank you thank you x and o's mwaaah :* <3 :"3
I sighed and got my headphones out. That was my best (and only) friend, Francine Avancea.
Our relationship went back at least four years back. Buong elementary life ko, I was the resident loner sa school. If you asked all my schoolmates what they thought of Hannah Atienza, they would probably describe me as"okay". No one hated me, partly because I was not mean and partly because my dad was one of the wealthiest men in town, but no one liked that much either, kasi hindi lang talaga ako interesting kasama.
When I reached high school, I was still the same shy little girl. Suddenly, he world seemed too big, too loud. All the faces were unfamiliar, since the school was definitely bigger. On the first day, our seats were arranged alphabetically, and I still thank our teacher and the school and the educational system and fate and destiny and God every single day for putting me on the seat next to Avancea, Francine S. I took my seat, and I waited for her to raise her hand and request for a new seatmate or at least ignore me. Instead, naaalala ko pa, when she saw me, she smiled and, like were best friends already, sabay hatak pa sa kamay ko and said, "Hannah? Is that what Ma'am, called you? Hi! Hi Hannah! My name is Francine Roa but please call me France okay? I'm soooo glad seatmate kita! I'm super sure high school is gonna be the best!"
And she was right. Because of her, high school was the best. Or at least better than elementary.
She was the complete and total opposite of me. She dragged me at parties, and often ako yung kumakaladkad sa kanya pauwi. She was at the top of the social ladder, I was the wallflower. She was fun and wild and crazy and popular, and I kept her feet on earth when her head was in the clouds. She splashed color into my black and white life. I watched her fall inlove with different guys a hundred different times, and of course, I bought her donuts and tissues when she dumped them a week later. She was always looking out for prospective boyfriends for me, but lagi naman akong busy sa studies. We were so close na pati families namin ay naging close na rin. Sabay kami lagi sa Simbang gabi, Christmas, New Years and birthday and anniversaries. We could talk through looks and glances, and we had rules and regulations for each other. We agreed that she was never allowed to tease me about guys in public, because I was scared that people might overhear, kapalit naman ng silence ko about sa guys na dini-date niya. Or how she would never let me wear gray or brown (color yan ng dead or dying, Hannah!) in exchange for her wearing skirts that at least covered 5 inches of her thighs. Dapat palagi akong may load so we can text, and dapat naman siyang sumama sa mga study sessions ko. Except for days like this. When she was busy. And she would ditch me. For SSG or whatever.
