We're Not Friends

(Tasha's POV)

It's late at night, a little after 1:00am, and my urge to gamble has returned. I can't afford to lose any more money and I can't afford to relapse. I decided to go for a walk to clear my head. I have no real destination in mind, just wherever my feet take me. It seems like a pretty clear night and the streets are nearly empty. I walked slowly to enjoy the shining lights and the silence. The wind began to pick up, blowing trash across the streets and making me regret not bringing a jacket. It didn't occur to me to turn around and go back home, I didn't want to be reminded of who I was as a person. Everything in my apartment has a story behind it, some things lovely and some things not as much. It had started to rain, but I still didn't care, I kept going. It was slow at first, but then it sped up. I held out the palms of my hands, next to my sides, and watched the raindrops hit them. I didn't even notice how cold it was getting at first, I was too lost in my head. I somewhat enjoyed feeling the rain against my skin and my hair blowing in the wind. Something about it was refreshing. I took a right and then a left when I realized where my feet took me, Reade's apartment. I was hesitant about going inside, but then I remember him telling me if I ever needed to get away I could come here. It has to be 2 in the morning by now, he's probably asleep. Before I knew it I was already down the hall from his room. If his door was locked, I would leave. There's no sense in waking him up this late. I tried the handle and it was open. Well, there's no turning back now. All lights were off, except for the kitchen. I shut the door behind me and locked it, like it should've been before. I could hear his TV playing in the bedroom. I could just lay on the couch and have him find me in the morning, but that's not what I did. I went straight to his room. I knocked softly twice and opened the door. He was lying in bed, half asleep, and shirtless. His voice was low and heavy when he spoke,
"Tasha?" 
He propped himself up on his forearms as if he wanted to make sure he wasn't seeing things. I walked over to the side of the bed. 
"Hey, sorry. I just wanted to get out for a while."
"It's fine. What time is it? You're soaked, let me get you something else to put on."
He thew his blanket off and jumped out of the bed. He went to the closet and pulled out one of his shirts.
"It's, uh, after two, I think. It started raining on my way here."
He looked worried, even though he had no reason to be. I'm okay.
"Here," he tossed his shirt to me. "put this on."
He turned his lamp on and the volume of his TV down. I peeled off my shirt and pants and slipped his t-shirt on. I had to of looked pathetic because he came over to me and pulled me into a long hug. I held him tight and as close as possible because he is the one good thing in my life I never want to lose. 
"Thank you.." I mumbled into his shoulder. "I can take the couch if you want."
He laughed to himself and leaned back to look me in the eyes.
"You never take the couch."
I giggled and bit my lip. "I was just trying to be polite." 
"Mhm, I'm gonna grab some water. You want a glass?"
"I'm good." 
He kissed my forehead and went to the kitchen. I let out a sigh of relief, I've only been here a few minutes and I already feel better. I climbed into his bed and sat with my knees pulled up to my chest. His room is spotless, not a single speck of dust on anything. It smelled like him in here too, I could never get tired of this smell. He had Star Wars playing on the TV, I laughed to myself. Reade always wants to be the tough guy, but here, in his weak ass apartment, he has Star Wars on. God knows how many he watched tonight. Reade came back into the room with his water and he stopped when he saw me on the bed. We stared at each other for a moment before he said,
"You're on my side of the bed." I could tell he was trying hard to keep a straight face.
"Oh, I am? That sucks." I leaned my head back and laughed. I straightened out my legs and threw my arms out, now lying down. He walked over and sat his glass down on the nightstand. He put his hands down on the side of the bed so he was hovering over me.
"You're gonna have to move." He still had a straight face, but I could hear in his voice that he wanted to laugh. I cocked my head to the side, gave him a huge grin, and stayed put. 
"Hmm, I don't think I want to."  
"Fine."
 He started to walk away, but turned back around and jumped on top of me. Just as quickly as he did that, he flipped us over so were laying in the middle of the bed with me on top of him. We were both laughing now.
"Well, that works." 
I couldn't catch my breath and I had that feeling in my stomach you get when you laugh hard for a long time. He wrapped his arms around me and I laid my head on his shoulder, placing my face on his neck. 
"It sure does." He had finally caught his breath. 
I could lay like this forever. Just him, me, and Star Wars playing in the background. That's kind of how our lives are, it's just him and me and everything else is just background. I put my hand up to his face and starting tracing his jawline with my fingers. I propped myself up to look at him. For a minute I didn't say anything, I just stared at him. I studied the shape of his face, his lips, the creases under his eyes, and the color of his eyes. Everyone says that brown eyes are boring and plain, but that's because they haven't fallen in love with someone who has brown eyes. Reade's eyes were dark, but they weren't cold. They were soft and full of happiness, love, and life. 
"You're amazing." I whispered. 
We were close enough to where our noses touched. Everything felt perfect.
"I think you've got me confused with someone else." He spoke through his smile.
"Who?" 
His response to me was his lips pressed against mine. I got chills down my spine and butterflies in my stomach. There's so much chemistry. We kissed slowly and we kissed for a while. He was leaning over me now and we were staring at each other again. Out of all the words he could say, he said,
"You."
"Me?" 
I laughed, I don't know where he's going with this. 
"You are amazing." 
He kissed my nose, then my forehead, and moved a strand of hair out of my face. I smiled like an idiot, he makes my heart melt. I had forgotten I said that a little bit ago.  He laid back on the bed and I laid under his arm with my head on his chest. I listened to the rise and fall of his chest until I started to drift off to sleep. 
"You know," I said, barely awake. "Friends don't kiss like that."
"Well, we're not exactly friends, are we?" 
He laughed softly and kissed the top of my head.