It's Okay, Just Smile

T

5 | FIVE

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You can't be STRONG all the time, sometimes you just need to be ALONE and let your tears out.

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It's time ...

To say ...

Goodbye ...

"Ahh....why is this song so related to me?" Tzuyu mumbled alone as she turned off the speaker. She unplugged her phone from the speaker and charged her phone. She was not in a mood to be sad even though she wanted to cry so badly. Jieqieong will be leaving today. All the song that she played were like teasing her. Like they knew Tzuyu's feeling very well. She woke up at three in the morning just because she wanted to prepare herself from crying later. It was a while after she cried. She wasn't sure if this time, will be the same as the last time. But last time was too harsh, the life she had stepped in just too cruel.

She sat on her bed and clutch the blanket. She hugged it and buried her face into the blanket. It started with a silent sob. Later it becomes louder and louder. But, thanks to the blanket her voice came out like a mumbled and no one could hear her. 

'Why am I crying? People come and go. I know that fact so well. Then, what is the point of crying? It's not like I can stop things from happening if I cry. You had face more worst than this Tzuyu! You should be more dependable. Why can't you?'

Her thought talking. She was asking that kind of question even though deep inside she knew the answer better than anyone else.

Because Jieqieong is her only friend ever. They did not meet often because Tzuyu was always busy with her works and Jieqieong was helping the grandmother.

'Poor grandmother. It turned out that Jieqieong was not her biological grandchild. So, all these times she was just taking care of Jieqieong. She was just raising her up. She fostered Jieqieong. After this, who will help her? Who will accompany the grandmother?' 

She thought again to herself. The sobs started to slow down and soon are stopped, which means she had fallen asleep.

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Tit...Tit...Tit...Tit...

Tzuyu's alarm burst her ears. Immediately, she sat on her bed. She looked at the times. It shows 7.55 AM. Jieqieong will be going to the airport in five minutes. She sprang up from her bed and washed her face before running down the stair after locking her door. She ran directly to the convenience store. From five meters away, she could see an old lady -- which is must be the grandmother--, a young cute girl in a pink dress and a couple -- Jieqieong's father and mother -- Tzuyu stopped just right next to the grandmother.

Jieqieong looked at me with the widest smile ever. But, with the condition of her eyes, everyone can tell that she had cried a lot. We hugged each other. "I thought you aren't going to come." She whispered to Tzuyu's ear. "I'm sorry I late," Tzuyu replied. Jieqieong tightened the hug as if it was even possible. "I will come back soon. Wait for me and please take care of the grandmother for me." Jieqieong said. "Don't worry ma'am," Tzuyu replied with a nod. They chuckled. Jieqieong buried her face on Tzuyu's shoulder.

"Jieqieong-aa. We should be leaving now." Her mom called her. They parted from the hug and looked into each other's eyes for a while. "See you again!" Jieqieong shouted as she got in the car. Tzuyu replied with a nodded.

Tzuyu turned around and looked at the crying grandmother. "Halmeoni...." She called. This is the time where she should comfort her to repay back what she did to her before. How she used to wipe Tzuyu's tears away, now she is the one who is going to wipe the tears on her crinkled face. Tzuyu's stroked the grandmother's back slowly as the tears kept streaming down on her cheeks. They sat down on the bench where she used to sit with Jieqieong. 

"From now on, you can rely on me. I'll be taking care of you. I'll be your another granddaughter." She blurted out without conscious. The grandmother smiled softly and looked tenderly into Tzuyu's eyes. "You are always my granddaughter alongside with Jieqieong. I always loved the two of you equally." She said with a cracked voice. Tzuyu smiled and nodded at her words. As always, as herself ever be, as a grandmother that Tzuyu has known since she was young, she always the sweetest person that Tzuyu ever met. 

*****

We went inside the store and granny -- yeah, I should call her granny since now -- sat on the counter. I looked at the junk food rack and I saw a few chips and other snack haven't been arranged on the rack. I walked to the aisle and continued Jieqieong's works, I guess. "Tzuyu-yaa..." with a mellow voice, granny called me. I turned and looked at her questioningly. 

"Have you already breakfast?" She asked and I shyly shook my head. Because I'm so hungry and I'm running out of food supply in my house. She motioned her hand for me to come to her. I went to the counter, where granny is sitting at. She handed me a bento box and told me to eat that. Without any second thought, I opened the box and ate it deliciously.

"Now I have no one to take care of, may I take care of you?" She asked me and I blinked my eyes twice. Can't believe what I have heard just now. "I-I'm fine...." I said and she looked down with sad eyes. "I don't have anyone to accompany me now." She said and I looked down on the food. She must be missing Jieqieong's present so badly since they were so close.

One feeling struck me. Guilty.

"I can be your granddaughter if you want," I said. "I can company you, sing you to sleep, help you in the store and do everything that I could as your granddaughter," I stated and she looked up at me smiling. "Really?" She asked and I nodded frantically. She patted my head gently. 

For some reason, I like this feeling. 

Feeling of . . .

being loved.