Black-Eyed Seattle

Preparing for the Worst

I wake up early this morning, 5:30 a.m. to be exact. surprisingly, he doesn't wake up from the sound of my alarm. I let out a sigh of relief at this and pull myself out of bed. I quietly rush down stairs, let the dog out and begin to prepare breakfast. Chase is set to leave for the airport at 9:00 this morning and I have to make the best of the time we still have together.

He'll be touring for three months, and I'll be here. It'll be hard without him, this will be the longest he's been away since we moved in together. Lost in my thoughts, I almost burn the eggs. I scramble them up a bit more and dump them evenly onto two plates. I start the coffee maker and pull some bread out of the pantry. As I slide the two slices of bread into the toaster, I hear Jade bark. I speed walk to the back door to let her back into the house. She runs past me and books it back up the stairs into the bedroom. It's like she knows he's leaving too. The toast pops up and causes me to almost have an anxiety attack.

I take the jam out of the fridge and spread it around the two slices of toast. I grab two mugs out of the cabinet and pour the newly created coffee into both. I add two teaspoons of sugar to his, just the way he likes it. Now for the hard part. Waking my boyfriend up.

I walk back up the stairs leading to the loft. I glance at the clock on the wall. 5:46 a.m. I turn my attention to the bed, where my boyfriend and dog are dead asleep. I will always envy how fast our dog can fall asleep. Chase is in his normal position, one leg straight and the other one bent at a 90 degree angle, arms spread out all over the place.

I walk towards him, facing his back. I lightly put a hand in between his shoulders and gently run my fingers through his hair. He lets out a groan and stretches out his bent leg. He turns to face me, eyes still not open. One of my hands has fallen to the crook of his neck and the other rests at my side. He stretches one of his arms out and slides it up my lower back and pulls me closer to him. "I made breakfast. It's not much, but it'll be enough to fill you up for a few hours."

At the mention of food, his eyes crack open. "What time is it? The sun isn't even bright yet." I look out the window to see that the fog from the night has yet to clear, and dawn is still in full swing. "5:52", I say in a light voice. He groans and rolls back over. "Why so early? We went to bed at like 2:00 last night", He whines. "Because I want to be with you as much as possible before you have to leave today." I say in a soft tone. He groans once more and decides to get out of bed.

He gets up, puts on a shirt, and follows me downstairs. He's still half asleep, causing him to nearly fall down the stairs. By the time we reach the kitchen, the food is barely warm. I've barely taken my first bite of eggs by the time he's finished his toast and a quarter of his eggs. "You were really hungry, huh?" He lets out a quick chuckle, "yeah I guess" he replies with a face full of food.
•   • •
After breakfast, we moved to the back porch, watching Jade run around the yard like a mad dog. The fog from the night was starting to fade and the sun starting its trek across the sky. I look down at my phone. 6:23 a.m. Two and a half hours.

"Three months. Three months without you. Without this house. Without our aesthetic photo shoots. Three months without Jade. Three months in a shitty van with Kyle hitting me for no reason. Three months of playing a show every night. I don't know if I'm mentally prepared for that." Chase blurts out. I look up from my phone and turn my attention to his face. He's staring into the distance, looking at whatever's in front of him. His eyes are glazed with the slightest hint of tears.

I scoot closer to him and put my hand on his knee. "Hey.. look at me." I say in a soft voice. He turns his head towards me slowly, looking down towards my shoulders. "Chase." I say in an even softer voice in attempt to get a full grasp on his attention. He looks up into my eyes, and I give him a caring smile. "You'll be okay. You can do this. It's only three months. I have complete faith in you that you can get through it. And if you're worried about us, we'll be fine here. We live in the middle of nowhere, nobody's gonna hurt us."

He gives me a sad smile and drops his head to rest it in the crook of my neck. I move my hand from his knee and wrap it around his far shoulder, bringing him in closer. He gives out a small sniffle. We sit there in silence for a few minutes, watching Jade play. Breaking the silence, he sighs loudly and lifts his head from my shoulder. He looks at me for a few seconds before leaning his entire body into my chest, almost laying on my lap. I slide my hand down his back, making the position more comfortable.

"I'm gonna miss you so much. I really wish you could come with me," He whispers. "I know, I would come if I could, but I have to work and I'm sure it's already expensive enough to transport you, Kyle and the rest of your crew from gig to gig. Maybe next time." I say in a caring voice. "Definitely next time." He says with determination.

He lifts his torso off of mine and stands up, facing me. "Lets go walk around Seattle until I have to leave," he says, knowing how much I loved the city and how many aesthetic pictures we can take there. "That works out perfectly considering that the airport you have to leave from is in Seattle.," I say. "Alright cool let me go pack really quick then!" He doesn't even finish his sentence before he's running back into the house. "Chase! You're leaving for three months and you haven't even started packing yet?" He stops halfway up the stairs and looks down at me. "Yeah, I mean I only need like, what, five outfits maybe?" He calls back. "You're disgusting." I say, shaking my head and smiling as I head for the stairs to help the man child pack his wardrobe for the next three months.