Happily Ever After? / A Joey Graceffa Fan Fiction

Ch.2 Good News

Ch.2 (Joey’s POV)

    I had sat down next to Annabelle while still holding her as she cried. Her body shaking with a sadness that I don’t think I have ever seen before. It had been about 5 minutes and every second I feel worse than before.

    I hear the door open and the doctor come in with a sad face. Annabelle never looks up, but the doctor comes over to me and hands me the release papers for Annabelle. I mouth thank you and he leaves, quietly shutting the door behind him.  I set the papers on the bed and smooth Annabelle’s hair. I push it back from her forehead and kiss it. Her crying is slowly coming to an end but her body still shakes ever couple of seconds.

    “Darling, I think it is time we try to get home, okay?” I say. She looks up at me and wipes away her tears. Then she slowly nods her head at me and takes my hand. I help her out of bed and she walks to the car. The only thing I can think is no one deserves to go through this. I pull my hand from hers and put my arm around her  shoulders.

    (Annabelle’s POV)

    Sitting in the car I just look out the window. I am completely drained of feeling. I just watch the people and houses as we go by. I didn’t feel like I needed to cry anymore, I don’t think I could have cried anymore if I had wanted to. I am completely absorbed in my own world when I suddenly hear Joey’s voice from the other side of the car.

    “You know, Annabelle, I wish I knew the perfect thing to say. I am so sorry.” He tells me quietly. Usually I would say something back, but I couldn't think of one thing that I could say. I look at him and force a little smile then turn back towards the window.

1 week later:

    I had finally got around to calling all my friends and family and telling them the news. I had gotten so many calls back and social media posts that I had turned off my phone. I know everyone meant well, but all it did was remind me of what almost happened. Joey was really supportive too, he always seemed to be there right when I needed him and gone when I needed to be alone.

    In all honestly I was surprised that it would hurt this much. I had heard about miscarriages before but always thought, how could something never born be that bad when you lost it? I felt bad for every time I ever thought that.  This last week had been either me crying and hysterical or feeling nothing at all.

    Thinking about it I was missing something I had never had. Thinking that I would never hold her or him was the saddest thing in the world and I couldn’t help but blame myself. If I had only known I was pregnant sooner, would it have mattered? Could I have done something different? If I had only gone that morning when I first felt pain could I have saved her or him? These questions ran through my mind all the time.

    To distract myself I turn my phone back on. Ten missed calls from friends and family but I just hit read later. Countless messages that Ignore too. All of a sudden my phone starts to ring. I plan on ignoring it but it is Caroline so I answer.

    “Hello.” I say, not in my usual cheery tone.

    “Hey Annabelle! I hope you are doing better.” She tells me.

    “I’m doing great.” I lie.

    “Well I had something to tell you…” She says.

    “What is it?” I ask.

    “Well I went to the doctor yesterday and it turns out Adrian are having twins!” She says excited.

    “Wow! Caroline! That is so great, I am so happy for you!” I say genuinely excited.

    “I wasn’t sure I should tell you so soon after.. well, you know. I didn’t want you to think I was bragging or anything.” She said seriously.

    “Of course you should always tell me about these things Caroline! I would never think you were bragging! It is not like it is your fault you are having twins!” I say.

    “I am glad you are excited Annabelle! Talk to you later, call me if you need me.” She says sincerely.

    “I will, Talk to you soon.” I hang up the phone.

    Wow, twins. I was so excited for Caroline! She always wanted a bigger family and this was a good start.

Later that night:

Joey is fast asleep beside me, but like almost every night I lie awake thinking of everything but sleeping. Some good came out of all this, I can ride again. I try to think of other good things but can’t think of anything.

My mind wanders to Caroline’s news. Twins, two more than me. I realize that I am being selfish, but I couldn’t help but think that God took away my baby and gave it to her. I don’t even get one and she gets two. I am happy for her but at the same time I couldn’t help but think just how unfair life could be.  

Another thought crosses my mind though, This all could be my fault. Did I drink while I was pregnant and didn’t know? Did riding hurt my baby? Even if I was only walking. In my heart I knew that it was not God’s fault, but my own. Maybe I was just not meant to be a mother and this was like a sign. I had always wanted to have only one kid, but maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.

I roll over to face the wall and close my eyes. Knowing tonight like every other night I wouldn’t go to sleep until I was at the point of exhaustion. I say a little pray in my head for my unborn baby, then do my best to attempt to sleep.