The Broken Pieces

chapter 2: why are you here?

Hey! here's my second chapter, hope you enjoy :)

                   I was barely able to make it through my morning classes without falling asleep. As I sat in my chair in each of my classes, my head would bob and I would almost fall out of my chair, I was just grateful I sat in the back so no one thought I was narcoleptic. By lunch I felt like I was going to pass out.

                In the lunch room I avoid the long lunch line, when I see that the kids coming away from the checkout have a pile of green goop on their trays. I spot Travis sprawled out on a table in the corner by the large windows, with some of the kids that had been at the park the night before. The only ones I recognize are Travis, Jake, a boy whose name I think was something along the lines of Hunter and a girl named Audra. I start towards the table, because they are the only ones I know at this school.

                Travis sees me and sits up smiling at me; Audra sees me to and waves me over.

      “hey” I say through a yawn as I reach the table.

      “hey, want some?” Travis holds out a cup to me, I look at it skeptically, knowing him it would be alcohol.  He sees the way I’m eyeing it and a smirk plays on his lips.

     “Its just coffee, drink some you look awful.”

I smile, I already know I look awful, but that has nothing to do with not getting enough sleep. I grab at the coffee eagerly “oh god yes, I could really use a pick me up.” I take a couple sips, “I’m dying.”

      “I know what you mean.” Audra says raising her cup to me, then she takes another sip of it, she looked worse than me, she had dark circles under her eyes, which were really brought out by her unnaturally pale skin, and her long black hair was thrown up into a messy bun. Her being so skinny doesn’t help either.

                I climb up onto the table and sit next to Audra; she throws her arm around me, which is kind of strange since I don’t know her that well.

     “so did you have fun last night?” she asks, I take a sip from the coffee, which I had permanently commandeered from Travis, and nodded.  She leans in close to me so no one else can here, “did you and Travis do anything after we all left last night?” she has a mischievous smile on her face. I look at her, eyebrows raised.

     “what do you mean?” I ask

    “you’re so innocent, “she laughs, “you know, did you two hook up or anything?”

    “no! we just went home and went to bed.” I say, and I see her smile again and before she can say anything I add, “in our own rooms”

      “alright, alright, so I hear you’re coming to jakes tonight” 

      “yeah, Travis invited me, it sounds cool, I guess I’ll come.”

    “good” she leans in close again, “it’ll be good to have another girl around who isn’t a total whore” she nods over to a girl that was laying all over Jake, I can’t remember if she was at the park the night before.

   “are her and Jake together?” I ask curiously, since if they were together I don’t know what about her made her a whore.

   “oh god no!” she says with a laugh, “Jake just uses her for blow jobs.”

“does she know that?” I ask, with a laugh

   “she’d never believe it even if you told her, she thinks she’s every boys dream.”

   “she’ll be there tonight?”

 “yeah so dress hot to take the attention away from her.”

                My stomach twisted into knots, I didn’t want to wear anything that didn’t cover me completely and that usually wasn’t considered hot, unless you were Amish. Forget the fact I really didn’t have anything like that, my dad had burned a lot of my clothes a couple weeks before I was put in foster care, but even if I did, I wouldn’t wear it. I don’t want people seeing the marks that are left on my body; I don’t want people to question me about it.

  “umm yeah, I’ll see what I can do.” I say distractedly, I’m so glad when the bell rings because I was pretty sure she was about to say something. I got up but before I could leave Travis caught me by the elbow.

    “hey, meet me by the gate after school, we can walk home together” he says with a smile, I nodded then he ran off after Jake.

            When I first came to Sean and Allison’s house a couple of days ago, and met Travis, I thought he was an ass, I mean he still displays some of his ass-like qualities but he can also be really nice. I don’t completely trust him, which my counselor said I would probably have problems with trust, but I think I was beginning to like him, after all he’s trying to include me in his friend group. 

            When the last bell rang, I throw my books in my locker, that’s already messy even though I’ve only been going to this school for a couple days, and slam it, then head out to the front of the school by the fence. Travis is already waiting, leaning up against the fence, his hood up and his hands in his pockets, Audra standing next to him is laughing at something I’m assuming Travis said. Jake is sitting with his back up against the fence smoking a cigarette, he was eighteen, so it was legal for him to smoke but I still doubt he’s allowed to do it on school grounds.

                        Jake blows out a puff of smoke “hey Becca.” He says, Travis looks up and pulls his hood off.

       “Alright guys, see you tonight.” Travis says, then turns and walks out the gate entrance. I stand there for a second unsure of what to do, he looks back for a moment. “Coming?” he asks, but before I can answer he keeps walking.

       “Bye guys, see ya later.” I say quickly then run after Travis to catch up to him.

            We walked together for a while without saying anything, the only sound was our feet shuffling on the gravel road.

      “its fucking hot out here.” Travis pulled his sweatshirt over his head and threw it over his shoulder, “ain’t you hot?” he asks, I shake my head, even if I was I wouldn’t take my sweatshirt off, I don’t need him to look at my arms. “so,” he starts, then pauses for a second, “so, you haven’t told me your story yet?”

     “my story?” I ask

     “yeah, you know, why are you in foster care, that story.”

     “well you haven’t told me yours either.” I point out, hoping he’ll back off.

     “fine, not much to tell really, my mom was a prostitute, and she would leave me for days at a time, and never feed me, she was a whore.” It sounds so easy for him to talk about, “now you.” I look away from him, why won’t he just drop it? “mom or dad?” he says

     “what?” I ask

     “was it your mom or your dad, the reason you’re here.” I was quiet for a moment, I never really thought about it, I mean I knew they were both bad people, but I also felt like a lot of the things that happened were my fault.

    “I guess you could say both.” My mother did drugs, after a while I lost track of how many drugs she was doing, all I know is she was never really present, and she would always shrink back until she blended in with the wallpaper whenever my father got angry, and lost it. He never lost it on her, only me.

            I can’t tell Travis that stuff, I refuse to tell anyone what all happened, that is the only thing I have left of my father, I feel like I need to keep it to myself, it makes me feel secure, and if I tell people, I’m scared they’re going to find out what a horrible person I am. Like my father did.  

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