suicide diary (p.jm)

1 - monday blues

[Nara's POV]
*sighs* Today's Monday and I really don't want to go to school today but I have to or else Mr Kim will punch me again. Yes Mr Kim is my father and i don't call him Dad or anything because I don't feel like he acts as my dad anyways. He's an alcoholic and a gambler. He always comes home late at night with breath that reeks of alcohol. Usually, he comes home either with a different girl or he comes home with bruises from all the random street fights he picks. I hate him. So much. All he does is drink,gamble,bring home girls,beat me and mummy up while mummy is trying her best to earn for the family. Me? I go to school. Alone all the time. Have my lunch at the rooftop. Go home. Get beaten. Cut my wrist. Cry. And finally sleep, with hope that I don't wake up the next morning.
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I looked at the small clock beside my mattress I'm sleeping on in my 'room' and came to the realisation that if I wasn't gonna get ready soon, I'll be late for school. I quickly went to the bathroom to take a shower and change. I put my hair up in a messy bun as usual and wore my uniform. Not forgetting to wear my precious necklace that Taehyung gave me for our first anniversary. We broke up after I found out that he cheated on me. Its been terrible after the breakup because he is my classmate and I have to face him five days a week. Urgh. I hate him too. Since the breakup, I completely shut myself from other people, mostly guys because I cannot trust a single soul anymore. I refuse to talk to people or even smile at them. I changed 360° from before. Some people are shocked at my 'new' personality but whatever. They don't care about me anyways.
I went to my living room and saw Mr Kim passed out on the sofa. He was snoring really loudly and he was a mess basically. I went to the kitchen and prepared a glass of cold water and re-heated a bowl of hangover soup for him. I placed them on the table and heard groans. "Ya... Don't come home late or else I'll kick your ass and punch your ribs off. I have something to tell you later on.." with that, he continued snoring. *sighs*
I walked over to my door to wear my shoes and walk to school. I always walk to school listening to music.

I walked and walked for a good 20 minutes and finally reached school. I went to my class and took a seat. I glanced over to my 'partnering' table and thought. When will I have a partner that I can genuinely trust. Its been so long since anyone wanted to sit with me. My short thoughts were interrupted when I heard Mdm Low, my homeroom teacher smacked the blackboard with her books. She was the same all the time. Thin black eyeliner and red lipstick. Her hair was always tied in a low ponytail. She always wore button down tops paired with a pencil skirt. Everything was topped off with a pair of high black heels. Even though she is old in age, she still looks young and youthful. She may be fierce at times but she really is a good teacher.

"Class! Listen up! Today, our class will be welcoming a new fellow friend. Introduce yourself please,"
The guy that was waiting at the door came in our class. I honestly didn't really cared much but I paid attention anyways. I was absolutely sure my face clearly showed that I was unamused and bored.
"Hi, my name is Park Jimin and I hope we will get along well," he finishes off with a smile and bowed to the class.
The class clapped and I could hear and see girls fangirling their asses off. Meh. He's handsome but probably is a jerk anyways.

"Okay Mr Park, you may sit at... lets see hmm.. There! Beside Nara! Wonderful," Mdm Low out of the blue exclaimed. What?!? Beside me? Heol.
After that, he walked over to his seat and faced me. He took his hand out and asked, "You must be Nara. Hii ! Since we're gonna be seatmates, lets get along well aye?" he gave a cheerful grin. "Uhm yeah," I responded and gave him a handshake. Hey this guy seems so cheerful and bubbly. I hope he doesn't annoy me.
--
The first two classes ended and it was time for lunch. I slowly packed my books and took out my lunch. I looked around and saw no one left in the class. I then strolled to the rooftop. I love eating there. Its so peaceful and no one ever goes there so I can have the place all to myself. As I was walking, I heard a few whispers. "Ya, isn't that the girl sitting beside Jimin. Haha, what now, is she gonna seduce him and steal him away from us?" "Ew, would Jimin even be attracted to that piece of garbage? Look at her. She's always a mess and that time, I saw several cuts and bruises on her arms. Ew ew ew"
I brushed those whispers off and continued walking to the roof.
What has my life became. Now I'm a target in the school huh? Urgh.
I reached the roof and sat on the ground. I plugged my earphones into my ears, and started eating my sandwich that I got from 7Eleven. The only food I can afford to bring to school. I was just casually munching my sandwich and looking out onto the view when a hand tapped my shoulder. It did hurt a little as that was the spot. Mr Kim whipped his belt on that spot yesterday. Wound still fresh. I winced a little and looked over to the person.  I found a guy with worried face. It's Jimin.
"Hey, are you okay? Did I hurt your shoulder?" he asked
I just shook my head and went back to eating silently. Suddenly, he just sat down beside me, eating as well. I glanced over at him and I was honestly impressed by his side profile.