Dr. Triple D

Chapter One: THE ULTIMATE COBB

      It was December 21, 2012. Dr. Phil was visiting Virginia and had a special place in mind before the world was supposed to end. In Norfolk, Guy Fieri recently opened a restaurant called Guy Fieri's Smokehouse. Philly (my dude) had been a long time admirer of Guy and wanted to get excited about his own life for once. He had been dealing with a lot recently; he and his wife had divorced recently and she got all the anime body pillows in the settlement. Times had been tough and Phillip really was in need of some love.

As phil approached the restaurant, the enticing scent of crusty ketchup bottles lured him in like white soccer moms are drawn to Costco. His mustache twitched like a squirrel with rabies when he saw the beautiful smokehouse. He was bewildered because of such beauty. The doctor kicked down the two wooden doors with his crocs. Little did he know the surprise that awaited him. Immediately from the corner of his eye he spotted a gorgeous bleached figured with hair resembling a porcupine.

His heart stopped. It was like he had never had a purpose in life before now. He needed to tap that. The mysterious person had the hair of a early 2000's NSYNC member and the drop dead gorgeous looks of shrek if he was human. Who was this lady? He had to find out.

Just then, a hostess stepped in front of Philliam's view.

"Hi how many are in your party?' THE HOSTESS SAID

"just one" phil said with slight disappointment, but he knew that it wouldn't just be one for long

The hostess sat him down at a booth and placed the menus on the table, Once she left, Fil immediately began looking at the crowd for the mysterious lady with bleached tips. Without luck, he started to look at the menu and chose "the ultimate cobb." ., , Using his masterful iq of 37, he asked a waiter to speak with the chef because he is allergic to avocados, which are in the dish. Promptly, a sashaying person with his chef's hat like a golden crown and his apron, flowing behind him, like a majestic cape entered the dimly lit room as if he owned the place (he did).. The chef then made eye contact with phil while licking excess barbeque sauce off of his crusty dry lips. Phil saw those lips... He needed those lips. But wait; that figure was not a woman ..........it was GUY FIERI all along!!!

"Are you the dude who can't eat avocado" Guy questioned with a bold look in his eye. All phil could do was stare. Phil tried looking away, but he couldn't move his eyes from guy's gorgeous pupils. Suddenly he snapped out of it.

"Hi, I'm a virgo, what's your sign?" Phil said, batting his eyelashes.

Guy was shooketh and immediately caught on to phil's emotions "y'ain't!" Guy said as he summersaulted onto the edge of the booth, sliding the rest of the way in like a thirsty 12 year old boy slides into those DMs. With a barbeque sauce covered teeth smirk, guy said "I wanna take you to flavortown"

Phil stared. He couldn't believe what just happened. All he had done was visit a restaurant and now he is experiencing love at first sight? In reply phillip said "I wanna get you excited about your life" The restaurant disappeared around them. The only thing spicier than the tension between them was the bbq sauce in guy's teeth. Phil's last statement was "Do you want to be my patient as a therapist?"

The room was dead silent.