My Motherfucking Issues

Wailing

I was just thinking about all the nights I cried myself to sleep. Yes, I am of the male species. No, my eyes were not sweating. There were tears coming out of them.

I thought,"Hey! I used to cry!" And then, I was like,"I remember when I purposely cried so loud that I hoped someone would come and help."

Then, I felt it. That sinking feeling. You know that one? Where the world just tears itself from out under your feet? Yeah. That one.

I had this feeling because I remembered that my parent's room was right next to mine. Right next to mine. Thin walls and all.

My dad was gone often, so it was just my mom home. I often cried myself to sleep at nights when my dad wasn't home. I never did when he was because I didn't want to seem feminine.

My mom never checked on me is the realization I came to. Never. She had many opportunities. (I cried a lot.) She never came to my aid.

Just something to think about.