NINETEEN

Chapter 8 - I'll Do It Twice

The first time I ever saw cocaine I was fifteen. It was the year Rakim moved in with Yoshi and his dad and he introduced us to a whole new world. Anything we saw, we tried. Anything that felt good, we did.

Yoshi tried it first. He rode his bike all the way to my house, eyes big as saucers, rambling like he'd found the key to life. I remember laughing at him before asking what he was high on. When he told me, I didn't believe him, but then he pulled a small bag out of his pocket with a small corner of cocaine left in it.

"Try it." He pushed the bag in my direction, but I recoiled.

"Come on Yoshi, you trippin." I said the words, but never took my eyes off the bag.

"When's the last time you felt something?" I locked eyes with him, my heart pounding like a boxer in my chest.

present

"When's the last time you felt something?" It was only seconds ago when I watched Yoshi roll up a dollar bill and snorted a line of cocaine like it was going to save his life. I could already see the high taking him over. His eyes seemed to turn to glass right before my eyes. Pupils dilated to the point that he almost looked evil. He almost looked like the devil.

"This ain't me right now." I hadn't touched that stuff in years. His eyes flashed with something I didn't recognize, but then he smiled.

"No sweat. Let's go in." He nodded toward Red's and a sick feeling washed over me.

Red's was a tiny place. All it had to offer was a bar, two pool tables and probably lung cancer from all the second hand smoke. It was notorious for not carding so it was the spot in high school. The drinks were watered down and trash, but the vibe here was incredible if bar fights and local bums was your kind of thing. We hadn't been here since were sixteen, but for some reason Yoshi was deciding to relive some pieces of the past tonight. He'd finally surfaced after being MIA for a week and this was the first place he took me.

Despite the way I felt, I followed Yoshi inside anyway. It was hardly crowded, but everyone in the place was loud and drunk.

Yoshi led me to the bar where he let me sit in the last empty seat and stood next to me, so close our shoulders touched. The coke always made Yoshi confident, almost arrogant.

"Two shots of Henny." He yelled to the bartender.

The bartender poured the shots and slid them over to us. Yoshi grabbed his and waited for me to do the same. I lifted the glass sluggishly, not sure how I felt about where this night was headed.

"To us. For still breathing after everything we been through."

And how could I not toast to that? We'd been through hell and back. The two of us had more secrets than the government, so I had to toast to survival. Not just once, but four times.

I knew I'd reached my limit when my body sagged lazily against Yoshi's side and I was smiling even though there nothing to smile about. I was swaying involuntarily to the song that was playing. Some old dancehall song that I didn't know the words to, but the rhythm still felt familiar.

"Dance with me." Yoshi leaned over and spoke close to my ear.

I looked up at him, smiling. He nodded his head towards the small area designated for dancing. I wouldn't really call it a dance floor, but there was enough space for dancing if you wanted to. Two other couples were already out there dancing, lost in their own world.

Pulling me from the stool he led me out to the floor, stopping when he was near the center. He turned me around and gently pulled me back against him. My body moved with his like it was something I'd been doing my whole life. I leaned my head back against his shoulder and smiled at the feeling of it all. Dancing with Yoshi was my favorite thing to do. It was the closeness, the intimacy of it all. It was in these moments I could see what all the other girls saw in him. I could understand why they did any and everything to get up under him. Friendship aside and Hennessy talking, he was flat out sexy.