numb

Depression

definition:
  the feeling of drowning while everyone else around you is breathing.

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  People think depression is sadness, crying or dressing in black. But people are wrong. Depression is the constant feeling of being numb. You wake up in the morning just to go back to bed again.

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  Depression is like a war
  you either win
  or die trying.

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  all it takes is a beautiful, fake smile,
  to hide an injured soul
  and they will never notice how broken
  you really are
     -Robin Williams

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Monsters don't sleep under your bed

they sleep in your head

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  "Depression is a cruel disease that can affect anyone. It is very easy once the symptoms begin for a person to slide down the black hole of depression where the symptoms spiral and feed off of each other, increasing severity."

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My own story:
  3 days before 9th grade had started for me, (I am now in 11th grade) my best friend Drew Wilson killed himself. He was my ride or die, ex boyfriend, but most of all he was my best friend and I wish that I had known why he did it. He was so upbeat and loving and caring and even stopped me many many many many many times from trying to kill myself.

He ended his life before it had really even begun.

And the worst part about it is that my parents knew him well, and didn't let me go to his funeral. I was devastated. I cried for days, eventually stopped trying to dress myself up for the day ahead, and on the 3rd day of school, which was his 15th birthday, I attempted an overdose at school.
I had taken 720milligrams of vivance (if you don't know what that is, it's a prescription for ADHD patients that if overdosed on, can make you feel like you're on meth, shut down your kidneys, make your skin crawl, make you throw up, and if you take enough of it, it will slow down your heart rate to where the point that you die)
I threw up everything I had eaten that morning, plus everything that was in my stomach. My stepdad picked me up from school and he just thought I was sick. I couldn't sleep and I ended up losing 25 pounds within the next 5 days of that overdose.

In the end, I didn't get a full 7 hours of sleep for a month.

I looked like I had done meth and I picked at my nose until it bled.

It wasn't worth it in the end. 6 months later I ended up going to the mental hospital on a suicide watch and I was there for 5 days.

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kik