Begin Again [One Shot]

Begin Again.

I stepped out of the cab and took a sigh. Was I really doing this?

It was not the bags or the luggage that were heavy. Rather, it was my heart. I just cannot drag myself to a plane going across the globe just because of a damn heartbreak. It wasn't like I saw myself standing in front of the damn airport, with all the things I can pack in a backpack and a luggage and a heavy heart that was broken for far too many times.

As if on cue, the rain poured. What a fucking coincidence huh, I whispered and ran, dragging all my things inside the airport.

Fuck this rain. Fuck this place. Fuck this plane. Fuck my life. Fuck the feelings I have for a goddamn asshole. I can just not run out of anger and hatred towards everything around me. On the contrary, trying to loathe everything just doesn't ease the pain even a bit. It just won't heal the heavy heart I have to take with me after this grand breakup. It's easy to be angry and to curse and to wish everything to just burn and crash but it's so goddamn hard to actually move on and forget the pain and the person that caused it.

I took a seat in a coffee shop. I did all the adult things I had to do to ensure I get into the next damn plane taking me as far away as possible. I just have to board the plane and leave everything behind.

Ironic how I'm sitting down in a coffee shop yet again, drinking the same old coffee blend I drank the day I met the person that gave me every reason to leave. "I had no idea that I'd ever find someone as gorgeous as you in a dating site." For him those might be simple words he could have told a million other girls. For me, it was the beginning of something beautiful.

Well, it was not as fast and smooth as that actually. For me, the fact that I met this person in a dating site should have been the most obvious red flag. But my sister thought it would be an awesome way for me to meet more people or the one just because she found hers there. Well, as a single 27 year old person, it won't hurt to try it, right?

I matched with a lot of guys that were just not my type. I almost gave up with my hunt until I match with this guy whom I will later meet up with in a coffee shop. Ever since we started talking, he's just the embodiment of perfection. He said all the right words. He made me laugh. He had all the perfect qualities I searched for so long. So when he asked me out, I just can't let the chance slip. It was not exactly a horrible date either. It felt as if it was a damn mistake to just let this be the first and only date.

We had this connection that I just can't put into words. He was my best friend. He knew everything about me and I thought I knew everything about him as well. We went to all these awesome dates. We went mountain climbing. We went to amusement parks. We shared million memories with each other and needless to say, I knew it was love.

It was so easy to believe that we were meant to be. After a year and a half of dating, we moved in together because it just felt right. I just felt really happy and relieved that I had someone to come home to. He was just there every night, willing to listen to every story that seems exciting for me. I talk to him about different clients. I talk to him about the people I talk to when I commute. More importantly, he listened. May it be stories of complete boredom or may it be exciting ones such as office feuds. He listened.

I looked at him in thousand different ways. In all those times, I just fell in love.

The fire did not burn out quickly. It was not fleeting like what I can remember. It lasted for two years. I did not know what exactly happened but he just went home one night. He was heavily intoxicated and he was dropped off by his friends. I asked him where he went. He replied with a drunk, "don't even ask." I was so mad at him for going home drunk and not even telling me he'll go out with his friends. I told him he could have at least texted me he's going out. He retaliated with a "Why the fuck would I do that?" We were just tossing angry questions and replies endlessly. Until it ended with a slap and a warning, "don't even try me."