Whispers of the Heart

Chapter: 1

I sat there at the café, staring out of the huge windows at people walking past us in a hurry, carrying on with their own busy lives. The aroma of fresh ground coffee hung in the air around us. I was just another soul here in this place to find peace and trying to enjoy the warmth of a hot coffee.

"Catherine, I'm going to ask you something straight up...okay?" a male voice spoke, over the muffled chatter of the customers.

I turned to face the person sitting in front of me to see that he was already looking at me. I smiled and nodded for him to continue.

"Okay then..." he sighed. "Are you in love... with me?" came the question with him peering into my soul with his drilling stare.

There were many thoughts running through my mind like how his curly hair caught the light or how his lips seemed to dance as he spoke. However, all those thoughts came to a screeching halt as my brain completely processed the question he had thrown my way.

Seems like the answer should be simple enough, right? It's either got to be a yes or a no. And in my case it was clearly the former. The answer is simple but it's the part where you admit it to the person, whom you're in love with, which is hard. I found myself in such a situation with no clear escape route visible to me.

You see...there's this creepy fear of being rejected that makes me want to hide behind an invisibility cloak or something awesome like that. The kind that makes you want to bash the head of even your lover against a wall. Or concrete. Or something. Gah!

I looked down to see that I was playing with the hem of my top as my nerves were knotted up and refused to cooperate with me. A nervous tick which he obviously picked up with ease.

"Um... Come on, Eric. Why do you ask such questions outta the blue, eh? Let it slide man." I stalled, looking away from those dark irises.

If you were to ask me what my problem was, I'd give you a simple answer. He is my best friend. And I wasn't ready to lose him.

Guess you should have thought of that before jumping into this, Cat.

"Do you? Just give me a yes or no, Cathy," he said, slowly.

I still refused to raise my head and face him. I could feel his steely stare burning a hole into my head. I was feeling suffocated.
"Okay... Yes. I do! You happy?" I said, just wanting to let it out finally.

I still couldn't face him. But I found my answer in his hesitance and the pregnant pause that followed my words.

"Why, Cathy? You know I love her..." he said with disappointment lacing his voice.

Oh! Right. That's my other problem. His on and off relationship with his ex, Stacy. Why was I confessing again? Ugh. My bloody hormones were messing with my logic again.

"I know! It's why I didn't tell you in the first place!" I told him with a defeated tone.

I don't know if it was just me, but I considered it wrong for someone to go asking another of they were in love with them and then demand for a response, only to crush them. You. Just. Don't. Then again, why was I feeling hurt? I knew this was coming. I knew he'd say that. I knew he still loved her. I knew it. Yet deep down, I thought he would just accept me. Stupid of me to think that I could replace someone. Nevertheless, there I was, wanting to push him away and escape into the wilderness and just cry. And I hate crying.

I felt weak and just wanted to collapse along with my sinking heart.

"I'm sorry Catherine...but you know how things are. I'm still in love with Stacy and I'm afraid I will be for a good, long time. We can still be friends though...?" he offered, weakly.