Chapter One

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They dragged her in, her wrists tied up and bloody, her black dress dirty with leaves and dirt. Yet, even with her messed up hair and pale green eyes, she still looked stunning. Merlin hated how she's always had that affect on him. 

"Bring her to Gaius," Arthur ordered Merlin. Merlin took hold of Morgana's arm, and without looking at her, brought her to Gaius. 

"Oh, my," Gaius said the moment Merlin pushed open the door. He quickly pushed the mess of things off the table and Merlin placed Morgana on the table. "Merlin, fetch me some cold water."

Merlin ran out, nearly bumping into Gwen, who shouted in surprise. "Oh my god, Gwen, I'm sorry."

"No, Merlin, it's my fault. Arthur said something about Morgana?" 

"Um, yeah, she's in Gaius's chambers," Merlin said. Gwen looked at him warily. 

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" 

"No. But Arthur's a king, no matter how much of a prat he is."

"Merlin!" Gwen scolded, but chuckled. Merlin smiled. 

"Well, I have to go get some water."

"I'll go check on Morgana," she said reluctantly. 


Merlin opened the door to find Arthur, Gwen, and Gaius crowded around the table. He sat down the bucket of water and went to join the trio. 

"She hasn't eaten anything in a few days and she has bruises and cuts all over her body, but other than that, she's fine," Gaius was saying. 

"Thank god," Arthur murmured. 

"Arthur? You are aware that Morgana is our enemy, right?" Gwen asked. 

"Yes, I know. But she's also family. And I'm willing to forgive her." 

"Ah, Merlin, you have the water, I presume?" Gaius asked. 

"Oh, yes, it's over there," Merlin told him, pointing over to the bucket of water. Gaius headed over there, picked up the bucket, and set it by the table. He took a cloth, wet it, and draped it over Morgana's forehead. Merlin couldn't help but notice how peaceful and beautiful Morgana looked while she was sleeping. 

"I've done all I can. Now let's give her some space so she can rest," Gaius ordered. Arthur and Gwen left, and Gaius and Merlin went up to Merlin's bedroom. 

"Will she be okay?" Merlin asked. Gaius gave him a patronizing look. 

"What did I already say?"

"You'd said she'd be fine. I wasn't sure if you were just telling Arthur that, though. And wouldn't it be better if she died?" 

Gaius stared at him. "You've grown up so much. What happened to the boy that couldn't bring himself to kill her? The boy that saved her, even after he knew what she was capable of?"

Merlin slouched against the wall. "That was a mistake. I shouldn't have. But I think we should let her die."

"Even if I stopped doing anything, she wouldn't die. She's completely fine, just a little beaten up. And once she eats some food, she'll be back to normal."

"Yeah, I get that. But can't we just kill her?" The moment the words roll off Merlin's tongue, he knew he's gone to far. 

"I'm kind of offended, Merlin." The boy froze and Gaius opened the door to see Morgana standing there, looking furious. 

"Morgana, I-"

"Oh, shut up. I don't care that you want me dead. In fact, you probably have a plan on how to kill me. Go ahead. Do it. Because if you kill me, you're no better than I am. Oh, wait. You've already tried to kill me. Twice. I guess even though you're Camelot's little hero, you're still a cold-blooded murderer," Morgana spat. 

"I didn't want to."

"You didn't want to. Is that what you'll say after you finally kill me? I didn't want to? Yet, here you are, plotting my death!" Morgana shouted. Merlin slumped further against the wall. 

"Morgana, child, come, you need rest," Gaius said, trying to help Merlin. It backfired when Morgana rounded on him. 

"You have the nerve to call me 'child'? After everything you've done to me? Made me sleeping drafts instead of telling me the truth? You knew I had magic, Gaius, and you did nothing. You stood by and watched me grow hopeless. You probably laughed, watching me. And now you think I'm going to listen to you?" Morgana's voice broke and tears filled her eyes. It broke Merlin's heart to see her like this, so broken and vulnerable. 

"I wasn't sure how to tell you."

"How about, 'Morgana, you have magic'? Would that have been so hard?" Morgana screamed. "Apparently it would have been. If you had told me, maybe none of this would have happened."

Gaius looked at Merlin. "We wanted to tell you." Morgana gaped at Merlin. 

"You knew about this, too?" she asked, her voice deadly. 

"Yes," he confessed, sighing. 

"You didn't tell me? I came to you for help, I sought you out! And you turned me away, saying you didn't know what to say! But you knew! You knew all along!" 

"Morgana, believe me, I was going to tell you. But Gaius told me not to," Merlin tried to explain. 

"Oh, and I suppose you do everything Gaius tells you to do?" Merlin winced. 

"Not exactly," Merlin muttered under his breath. 

"Yet, you didn't disobey him and tell me about my magic." It was a statement, not a question. 

"I was afraid that it would turn out like this. I was afraid you'd turn evil had I told you."

"If you had told me, I wouldn't have. The only reason I turned evil was because Morgause made me feel loved. She didn't make me feel ashamed of myself like you did-"

"What are you talking about, Morgana? I never made you feel ashamed," Merlin interrupted. 

"Really? You poisoned me because I had magic!" Merlin almost fell to the ground in shock. Morgana didn't know why he'd poisoned her. 

"You mean, you thought I poisoned you cause you had magic?" he managed to choke out. 

She glared at him. "Why else would you have poisoned me? You made me feel loved by keeping my secret, even if you didn't know what was happening to me. You sent me to the Druids. Even though you couldn't do anything, you were still trying to help. And I loved you for it. Then you poisoned me. I realized it was a trick. That you hated me and my kind. I hated myself for who I was. Because of you. I valued your opinion over everyone else's and when you turned your back on me because I was different, you crushed me. Morgause helped me through it. She said I shouldn't be ashamed of who I am. She showed me love when no one else did. She was kind to me and she helped me. That's why I hate you. That's why I tried to take over Camelot. Because of you, Merlin. You betrayed me. You were my friend."

Merlin slid down to his knees. "No, it's not like that," he croaked. "Morgause, she never told you why I poisoned you?"

Morgana's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Because you hated me. Because I had magic."

"I don't hate magic. I don't hate you. Well, I suppose I do now, since you've tried to kill me and everyone I love, but I didn't hate you. And that's not why I poisoned you." 

"I don't care why you poisoned me. I want to make you suffer as I have suffered."

"Morgana, I understand how you feel. You're disgusted with yourself, you're ashamed. You feel alone and unloved. Believe me, Morgana, I understand what you're going through."

"How?" she demanded, looking at him warily. 

"Merlin," Gaius said warningly. 

Merlin looked at the old man. "It's okay, Gaius. She deserves to know," he turned to face Morgana. "I have magic." 



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