// somebody else //

30 2 1
                                    

When I found out George had been seeing someone on the side, it felt like my heart shattered into a million tiny pieces. When he first told me, I was surprised that I didn't lose my shit, start screaming, hit something. Instead, I just sat there, feeling like someone had just ripped my heart out from its place in my chest.

"I'm...I don't know what to say, (Y/N)...I fucked up, I fucked up so bad," George says breathlessly. I just shake my head. Who knows, maybe if I deny it enough, maybe it'll go away. I close my eyes for ten seconds. Nope, still here.

We really did try to make it work after that. Well, he did. After it set in that he really had been cheating, I felt hollow, like I was missing something. Like he had something and he could never give it back. Even if he wanted to.

We still kissed, still cuddled, still had sex. I tried to convince myself that he had never cheated, that he hadn't done what he did. And for a while, I believed myself. I put on a smile, trying as hard as I could to make it genuine. I'm still not sure he believed me when he said that I was fine, that what he did was fine. That I felt fine. Everything was fine.

One day, I just snapped. Something inside me shifted, and I realized that he had actually done what I had been desperately convincing myself he didn't. When the realization set in for real, it was like my mind was racing at a million miles per minute. So I told him. I told him, then I left.

I stayed with my parents for a while after that, spending most of my time moping around the house, watching reality TV. I pretty much disappeared entirely from social media, pretty much becoming a total recluse. I abandoned my phone and social life in favor of wallowing in my own self-pity.

I moved out of my parents' house a few months ago, and now I'm doing better than I've ever been. I have a job, and an apartment of my own, and my life finally feels in order after so many months of pure chaos.

I remained friends with Matty despite everything that happened between me and George. I haven't seen George in months, so tonight should be interesting. I'm seeing him for the first time in what feels like a billion light years.

The bar we meet at is dark and musky and smells like weed. There are drunk people stumbling around blindly, and I avoid their beer breath and swinging baby arms to make my way to the bar where Matty is standing. I pat him on the shoulder, sitting on one of the barstools next to him. I order a drink while Matty and I make small talk until George arrives here.

"He misses you, you know," Matty says. His breath smells like vodka.

"Good for him," I mutter, taking a chug of my beer.

When I see Matty turn around, I turn around too, horrified when I see George. Not just George, oh no. George has a picturesque, skinny, tall, gorgeous model-looking cunt on his arm. I suppress an eye roll, turning back to the bar. I feel a hand on my back, making me flinch. I turn.

"Hey," George mutters awkwardly, his bitchy-looking date glaring at me. I ignore her.

"Hi," I say quietly, staring into my lap. He keeps standing there, waiting for him to either say something or leave me alone. His date clears her throat.

"Introduce me, Georgie!" She squeals, making me cringe. I look into her piercing green eyes for the first time. God, her eyes are just as bitchy as the rest of her.

"This is (Y/N)...(Y/N), this is Gabby," George says awkwardly, clearing his throat in the process. She holds out a perfectly manicured hand. I shake it quickly, secretly wiping my hand on my dress when I pull back. I avoid eye contact with both of them, wishing George would just leave. I excuse myself, squeezing past George and Gabby to go outside.

I wrap my arms around myself. It's not even cold. I just need comfort.
I turn around and see George walking out from inside. I roll my eyes, turning again to fix my eyes on the road. I feel George come stand next to me, facing me.

"Why did you walk out?" He asks. I look at him, bewildered that he couldn't realize why I was upset already.

"You're kidding, right?" I ask, laughing sarcastically. George chuckles.

"No. You can't just walk out like t-" I cut him off, holding up my finger, silently telling him to stop.

"How the fuck do you expect me to act?" I say loudly, my voice slowly on the rise. "I haven't seen you in a fucking year, and you show up with who I presume to be the girl you cheated on me with." I look at him, silently asking if the girl is the one he cheated with. I scoff at his silence. "Un-fucking-believable," I mutter, walking back into the bar.

George follows me, but I go up to Matty, leaning against the bar.

"I think I'm gonna bail," I mutter to him, setting down some money to pay for me and Matty's drinks. Matty gets a confused look on his face.

"Why are you leaving so soon?" He asks. I look at him, annoyed.

"Probably because I'm seeing the girl my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with," I say angrily, forcing my tears to stay in. I turn over to where George and Gabby are standing. He's a few inches away from her like he doesn't want to touch her. I wouldn't either. "Listen, I'm not bitter, that shit is ancient history...I don't care that you found somebody else. I don't want your body anymore. But seeing you with someone else is mildly upsetting." I take a deep breath, not even realizing that a tear has already fallen down my cheek. "I'll see you, Matty," I say, giving him a tight hug before walking out the door.

George doesn't follow me. I don't know, maybe I want him to. I still care about him, so maybe he still cares about me. I shake the thought away, walking to the curb to hail a taxi.

I get home quick, immediately taking a hot shower and climbing onto my couch, wrapped up in a blanket. I put in a movie, one of my favorites. I sit watching it, actually doing a good job of forgetting tonight's events, but a sharp knock at the door startles me out of my trance. I stand up, not pausing the movie. I open the door to see George. I roll my eyes, going to close the door, but he pushes it back open.

"Can I come in?" He asks like it's the most natural thing in the world. I sigh, backing away from the door and flopping back onto the couch. I don't look at George, but he makes himself comfortable next to me. Not too close, but close enough that it's bringing back memories. "I broke up with Gabby," He says something finally. I raise my head up, not bothering to turn to him. "I mean, we were never really together, but I told her to get out of my life." He says. I stay silent, but he's still staring at me.

"I don't know what you want me to say," I croak out finally. I stare at the TV, trying to tune him out.

"You don't have to say anything," He says, facing the TV.

We stay like that for a while, just sitting there. It's painfully obvious that neither of us wants to be watching the movie, but at the same time, I guess I don't know what I want to happen.

Then it happens. He places his hand next to mine, his palm facing upwards. He doesn't turn to me, but I take it as a silent hint to hold his hand. I debate for a second whether or not to take his hand. I finally place my hand in his. They feel familiar. I squeeze tighter, interlacing our fingers. We stay like that, me on the verge of tears. He says something finally, turning to me.

"I still love you, you know," He mutters. At first, I don't say anything because I'm not sure what to say. "I never stopped." He says quietly like he's about to cry, too.

"Yeah, I guess I love you too."

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