I just can't help it
Whenever something awful happens
It's inevitable
I smile
But I'm not amused
And I'm certainly not happy
I am feeling many things at once
For one,
I am uncomfortable
And when I am uncomfortable I tend to
Mess up
Screw up
Slow down
Fall down
I'm not trying to be mean
And I'm not trying to hurt you
I'm just trying to do what I know
Which is smile
What I've always done
When anything bad happens to me
Just smile till my cheeks are numb
Pinch my face and pull it apart until that smile rips through my cheeks and a perpetual smile is frozen and scarred onto my face
Until the day I die yet when they open my grave I will still be smiling
A smiling skeleton when my flesh disintegrates and no one even knows
Who I am
Still smiling
That's what I know how to do
So when you cry and I smile
I may seem twisted
And sick
And rude
But I'm not trying to be
I'm trying to be there for you
In the way I would be for me
In the only way I can be
I just want you to join me
And smile until your bones hurt
YOU ARE READING
Poems for when you can't breathe
PoetryA collection of poems I write when I feel upset (the third poem explains the title)
