The forest fic PT2

The Speech

I stand up and walk towards the podium. Green, black. Blue, Black. Black, Black. I hate this feeling, but I can't find a word for it.
What's the word for it?
Tyler would know....

I walk up the two steps and which each one I feel the weight of everything that's happened get heavier and heavier. I finally get to the podium, even though it only took about five seconds it felt like years.

I look over the crowed and my eyes catch Mrs. Joseph, she's staring at me with wide eyes and her mouth agape, she's very... b sharp, almost as if she had just seen a ghost. I clear my throat and a yellow-pink takes over me as I start to speak.

"Er... um.. Hello," I said as I shuffled my notes. "I'm Josh.. Josh Dun. Tyler was.." I pause as I tried to find normal words to say. "Tyler was... everything. He is everything, at least to me. Um.. He was funny and had a sophisticated mind set. He was.. amazing." My voice cracked as I tried to hold back tears. "He was lovely. And this, this is not what I had planned. No, this isn't what we had planned." I couldn't help but look at his younger brother. He looked identical to Tyler. But he wasn't him.
"All of you said I wasn't real, made him feel crazy. You even made him believe it himself. You forced a thought into his head, and ruined the thing he loved most. Now, I'm not the kind of person to throw around the word love. But I loved Tyler. I loved our golden little tree house."
Now, I am sobbing.

"He's gone. And he's never coming back, and now I have to live with the fact that the only two things I ever loved in this world, we're burned to Ash. And for some reason, I smell gas on my hands."

I look back down at his mom, he has her eyes. Only, hers are filled with something. Something Black, Black. No, worse than Black, Black. She was filled with guilt.

"Tyler meant the world to me, and to my heart he's the only one that held they key. If you asked Tyler, He hated his name. But, only because he believed that somewhere,  in another universe, in another time frame, there was someone just like him. He believed there was another him, but nothing could ever compare to Tyler. Nothing could even come close."

As my eyes wandered the room, I caught sight of his Psychiatrist and I stared at him with shame and hatred.
"But some people decided to be little him." He looked down at his lap, shaking his head. He knew exactly what I meant.

"Tyler was the kind of person who didn't want to be heard. He wanted to be listened to. He was terrified of what was around the corner, but for him there's no longer a corner to turn."

His mother is crying.

"I'd like to recite a poem, one that has hit pretty close to the broken home I call my heart. 'Of all sad words of mouth or pen, the saddest are these: it might have been.' What me and Ty had might've been a life together. But if only I was real, right? If only he had feelings towards a real person, not a figment of his imagination. But I am real, THIS WAS REAL! He was the only real thing I have but now my magic is gone. It died in the fire with my beautiful house of gold, and the boy that I could call my own."

My voice is shaken and I go to reach for the tiny velvet box in my pocket as I look over at Tyler coffin. The box remains in my hands.

"Tyler is no longer Tyler, for now, and for forever long. He will be a figment of MY imagination. So, you guys have a good night."

As I walk off the stage I feel it over coming my body, Black-Black. No, Green-Black.

I miss you Tyler Joseph.