Roxanne The girl in the red dress

Chapter 2: Angela

It's funny how the things you run away from in your past have a way of catching up with you. No matter where you hide, or what you do or even who you are and who you become. More than once, I've been that past the people are trying to run away from. Some things just can't be helped.

"Long time no speak," I smiled as I sat beside my old friend.

"I wonder why," she grumbled. "Just leave me in peace. Why do you always have to start trouble?"

"How many times have I said this? I don't look for trouble. It finds me. I'm just more than happy to oblige. Why do you always have to do the right thing?" For all the years I had known Nebraska, I was never able to understand how she always did the right thing by everyone. She was academically excellent and too kind for her own good, often giving people second chances that they didn't deserve. I would know. I had always envied her strength to resist temptation and to maintain her individuality in a time where conformity meant popularity. But the side of me that respected her was completely opposite to the other side of me that could not understand a life that was so proper. She only ever did what people expected of her and lacked the bravery to make stupid mistakes that she might well regret but would all be a part of this wild and crazy ride we call the road to adulthood. Or maybe she didn't lack the bravery, but just needed someone to help her realise it.

"Just tell me this Nebraska dear. If we judge one's standard of life based on the mistakes they're not afraid to make, can a life lived with so much caution that no mistakes are made be considered a life at all?" I found myself asking her before I could stop myself.

"What?" In her piercing blue eyes was confusion and irritation.

"I want you to think about this Little-Miss-Perfect. Are you really living? There's more to being alive than just living."

"I see," she laughed. "You fancy yourself as a bit of a Morgan Freeman type character in the movie of my life when really you would be the character seeking psychological help." Like I said, she's always so good.

"Well as much as I've enjoyed exchanging pleasantries, I am off home for curry and a movie. I do hope you enjoy yourself with all the pretentious kids at your new school. I have to admit, you fit right in." I forced a smile and sauntered out of the bus feigning triumph. I managed to maintain my composure until I reached my house. As soon as I closed the front door behind me, the tears streamed shamefully down my face followed by uncontrollable sobbing. For whatever reason, I lost complete control. All the pent up anger, frustration, shame and guilt I had held onto were forced out in a fountain of freely flowing tears utterly unlike me. I couldn't understand where all that emotion had come from. It literally overwhelmed me. For a brief moment, a fraction of a second, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and gasped, forcing myself to look away. I had only caught a glimpse of myself but it was more than enough for me to come to the realisation that I needed to pull myself together. The stranger in the mirror, with her blotchy red skin and puffy eyes, stared back at me despairingly. She appeared to be both judging me and simultaneously asking me well what are you going to do now?

"Well what are you going to do? You can't just sit there forever." Now this time I was sure I had not just imagined the voice. I stiffened and forced myself to turn around to face the intruder.

As soon as I caught sight of this stranger I was taken-aback. I was immediately drawn in with her blue eyes. I had never been poetic -always preferring to see things the way they are- but even I could identify that these were eyes that even Shakespeare would struggle to describe. There was something so compelling and hypnotic about them. When I did eventually manage to pull eyes away from hers, the next thing I noticed was a lopsided smile. Her flawless porcelain face was framed by her curly halo of blonde hair. She was the closest person to perfect I had ever seen outside of a glossy magazine. She almost looked angelic, if it wasn't for that lopsided smile on those artificially red lips and something, which I can't quite define, in her eye. She didn't exactly fit the stereotype of a robber. When I was overcame the initial shock, I realised that minutes had passed and all I had done was absorb almost every detail about a potential thief. The fact that I had now gathered an in depth description of her now put my life in danger. There was no way that she would let me go now that I had an accurate description of her appearance.

"Take whatever you need just please, don't kill me," I begged, closing my eyes.

My pleading was met with absolute silence. I allowed myself a moment to open my eyes. I looked around anxiously and realised that this girl was no longer there. I tried to convince myself that I had imagined her but deep down I knew that no human's imagination could create something so vivid and powerful. I was filled with conflicting emotions as I made my way to my room. I wasn't sure whether to be afraid or excited or if I should be relieved or disappointed. All I knew for sure was that that would not be the last time I saw that girl.

My mind was still focused on my strange encounter as I heard the back door open and my sister stagger in with the guy she was dating at that particular stage. I recognised the drunk voice as Nick who was the lead singer of the most successful band in our local area. He was definitely a step up from Valerie's usual boyfriends. She wasn't exactly picky. My sister's constant need to always be in a relationship had initially disgusted me. Her dependence and low self worth had sickened me until I realised that this was just the manifestation of her need to feel wanted. This realisation came when I found myself in a situation where the one thing I craved was to be wanted that pursuit had put me in a situation that I found very difficult to move forward from.

"Wanna go upstairs?" Valerie asked.

"Not this time. I have to go over some with songs with the guys now but I'll drop by tomorrow. What's the plan?" Was his surprising reply. Surprising because this was not the usual response that followed Valerie's insinuation of intimacy. I could tell from the shock in Valerie's voice when she replied that this was not the answer she had expected either.

"err I don't know. What do you wanna do?"

"I was thinking I'll bring my Back to the Future DVDs. I'm still bewildered that you haven't watched any of them and I feel like it's my duty to make sure that you are properly introduced. I would not be fulfilling my responsibilities otherwise," he joked.

"Really? You just wanna watch some old films?" My sister frowned, genuinely take aback.

"They're not just old films! They're classics. Trust me, you'll love them. Well maybe not the third one. Believe me, you haven't lived until you've watched them."

"Fine," Valerie agreed reluctantly. "But you better bring popcorn. And Haribo strawbs."

"Deal," Nick said kissing her. By this point I was sitting at the top of the staircase. "I'll see you tomorrow okay?" They kissed again and Nick let himself out.

"That didn't end the way I thought it would," I admitted, shocking Valerie who hadn't realised that I had been watching.

"Yeah well Nick is different."

"Nick is a guy. That's enough to qualify him as a good-for-nothing-fool," came my pessimistic reply. Deep down, even I didn't believe that.

"Well you're still young. You won't get it." How patronising! She was eighteen and I was seventeen. There was just about a year age difference between us but she still acted like she my mother. I guess someone had to be.

"You shouldn't have been listening anyway. My love life is none of your business. I'm guessing mum is back yet?"

"Not yet. But really, what did you expect?" I answered.

"Not much. I always say expect nothing and you won't be disappointed. It doesn't work though. I can't stop having high expectations of certain people. Like you..."

"What do you mean?" I frowned. Her answer was to sprint to the nearest toilet from where I quickly began to hear retching noises. My sister. Always such a lady.

I swiftly turned and walked back up to my room. I was both surprised and unfazed when I found the strange girl from earlier sitting casually on my bed.

"Guys like Nick really restore my faith in the male side of our species," she smiled.

"Who are you?" I demanded. "And what do you want? How do you keep getting in here?"

"Hello to you to," she replied sarcastically.

"I'm serious. Answer my questions or I'll call the police," I lied. It would take a lot for me to call the police. We weren't exactly on the best of terms. Roxanne seemed to realise this too and she only laughed and didn't appear to take my threat seriously.

"I'm Roxanne. I need your help."