I'm sitting on the floor in my bathroom, back to the wall, supporting me. I am scared and freaking out. This is... there are no words that could come close to explaining the situation. I need to talk to him, I have to. I know I promised that I wouldn't call or text or anything but I have to. He needs to know, maybe he can help me figure this all out.
I pick up my phone from the tile floor next to me, taking deep breaths as I unlock it and open up the phone. I try to calm myself down as I dial his number from memory, I don't want him to know right away that something is wrong. I stare at the screen for at least two minutes, building up the necessary strength to tap the "Call" button. I press it and wait. One ring. Two. Three. Four. Halfway through the fifth he answers.
"Hello?" he sounds uncertain, of course he should, after everything I was told to change my number. He wouldn't recognise the new one.
I can't speak, I don't know what to say. I'm bit sure I'm even breathing at the moment. "Who is this?" he asks, sounding more upset than curious.
I have to answer, I have I talk to him. "Ni? Is it you?" I say, I just hope he can't hear that my voice is shaking, I doubt it though.
After a sharp intake of breath he says it. My name. "Olivia? Is that you, is it really you?!" He sounds so shocked, and happy.
At that the tears I have been fighting to hold bak begin I roll down my cheeks. "Yes, it's me Ni. Its really me." I say holding back a sob. It's just so hard, not seeing him, having no idea what's happening to me, I truly am scared. "I'm so scared Niall, so scared." I whisper into the receiver.
"What did you say? You're scared? Wait, why are you calling me? You heard what they said, if you call me, contact me at all, they would tear you're life apart." He rushes out, he doesn't understand it, why you broke your promise to them. "You have to hang up. Please just don't call again, whatever it is you have to say its not that important." He continues to talk, rambling.
"Niall. Niall, stop." I try cutting him off so I can tell him. I take another deep breath before talking louder and putting some force behind my words. "Ni." he stops mid-sentence. I have to tell him. If I don't do it now, I know I probably never will. "Ni, I need you to listen to me. I'm scared and alone and confused. I have no idea what's happening to me. It doesn't make sense but I have to tell you. Okay?"
"Liv, what are you going on about? This isn't making any sense, tell me what's going on."
"I'm going to try and start from the beginning okay?" He hums a yes, signalling me to continue. "A couple weeks ago I started feeling sick, like stomach aches and running a slight fever. I thought it was the flu or something like that but after a few days it didn't go away. I ha a bad feeling about it, I went to the doctor and he sent me to the emergency room. Niall I was so scared, I had no idea what was wrong with me. When the ER doctor asked for my symptoms I told him. They took blood and other stuff. and them they just left and told me to wait. I sat in that room for hours Ni. someone came in and asked if I had done anything recently that might lead to me getting a virus or infection. I hadn't. Later another nurse came in and told me the doctors needed more information, he started bombarding me with questions. 'Was I in a serious relationship? How long has it been since I left the country?' Then after a few more questions he just stopped talking and walked out.." I pause so that I can gather my thoughts, see if I can make more sense before I keep telling him. "Before they allowed me to leave the first doctor I spoke with came back in. He said that upon consulting several of his colleagues he had come back to me with, in his words, a rather disturbing diagnosis." At this point I am crying, not hysterically and not sobbing, but its obvious that I am crying.
Niall doesn't hesitate for even a second before interrupting before I can continue. "Olivia, sweetheart, I know that your scared and I can tell that you're freakin' out right now, but you need to breathe. Just calm down, and finish telling me. Can you do that? Think you could calm down and tell me?" His voice was starting to shake, meaning that he too is becoming scared. I really just don't want to worry him. He shouldn't care, there are millions of people, girls of all ages who would kill to have his number. I stand from my spot on the floor and walk silently to my bedroom.
Taking deep breaths as I pace up an down beside my bed I feel myself start to calm. "Liv? Are you still there? Olivia?" The panic rising in his voice is what snaps my attention back into focus, and its also what helps me calm the most. His voice could always do that to me, change my mood in just a few moments. "Answer me, please."
"Y-yeah, I'm still here. Just give me a sec yeah?" I say softly as I lay down on my bed. I remember that I have yet to tell him what I was told in the ER. "Okay. I'm ready, are you here?" He responds with a whispered "always". I can't think of how that simple word makes me feel at the moment. Tell him, just tell him, thn you won't be the only one who knows. "Ni, he said I have a bug that is literally eating me alive from the inside. I researched it, Niall, there has only been one other reported case and the patient didn't survive. There's so much I don't know and that's what scares me. Not that I am dying, not that I won't get to live my life, but that I don't know anything. And mostly, I'm scared that even though it shouldn't, it hurts to know that I can never see you and that no matter what else happens, I will always love you with everything that I have." Now, after telling him,it finally sinks in, I am dying. I curl into a ball, clutching my phone to my face and lose it,completely and uncontrolably start sobbing. I forget that Niall is still on the line, listening to me breakdown, crying and screaming.
"Olivia, I can't. I can't do this. Not anymore. I just can't do it." With these words my heart stops, I knew he wouldn't be able to do anything but this isn't what I was expecting. I am just so lost right now. "Its okay. I knew you wouldn't be able to help. I just needed to tell someone, and you are... nevermind. Just thanks for listening I guess. Um, I uh, I won't call again, okay.. yeah. Goodbye Niall." I release another sob as I take the phone away from my ear. Before I am able to hang up I hear him saying my name, over and over and over again, each time slightly louder and more desperate than the last. Another deep breath, "What do you want Ni?"
"I meant, I can't not care. I never once stopped caring, I meant that I can't just stop, stop loving you. You mean too much, I am so glad you called too. I can't imagine going thru what you are going through alone. I am here for you, always." I don't know if I should believe him or not but in my heart I know he still cares. "Okay."
"Okay... I just-"
"I will be there tomorrow. First thing in the morning, I will be there. I'm going to take care of you. I promise that no matter what happens, I am going to be by your side. Honestly, I'm scared too. I don't wanna ever have to say good bye. I love you, I need you, I will. Always, okay?"
"Okay. Always"
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So this was the first one. Hopefully you liked it if not, please give feedback. If you get the references at the end YASSS if not thats okay too.
