Okay, we've all heard the story of the ugly barnacle, but that story is far from the truth my friend. FARrRrRRR from the truth.
It all started when the ugly barnacle was just a baby barnacle, but still ugly AF. His mother held him in her arms and said, "You look just like your father!" His father cried a little when she said that, and he quickly grabbed the barnacle and threw him out of the window. BTW, they were on the 13th floor.
The ugly barnacle baby landed with a thud on the ground. He began to scream and cry. His parents should take care of him, not throw him out of windows. He sat up and started to crawl to the nearest rock. What on Earth was he supposed to do now? He looked to the left. Nobody. He looked to the right. Nobody. He looked everywhere. Nobody. Anywhere. He began to cry.
A few hours later, a little old lady came by. She took one look at the ugly barnacle and fell to her death.
A few more hours later, a blind old man came by. He took one blind look at the ugly barnacle and fell to his death. Not even blind people could look at him without dying. The ugly barnacle laid down and took a nap.
The next day, the barnacle woke up with a startle. He had heard a noise in the bush behind him. He turned around and said," Who's there?" A voice replied, "Only the loneliest creature on the planet. No one loves me." "No one loves me either," the barnacle said. Suddenly, a huge bison emerged from the bushes. "Holy hugs! You're HUGE!" "That's the first," the bison said, "I'm smaller than all the other bison in my family. They make fun of me all the time!" "I'm uglier than everyone in my family. They threw me out of a window and now I'm all by myself," said the barnacle. "Good gravy! You ARE ugly!" Screamed the bison. "But that's okay, we can still be friends. My name is Dison. Dison the Bison. What's your name?" " I don't have a name. People just call me the ugly AF barnacle." "Then let's give you a name. How about Barney?" "Barney. I like the name Barney. From now on I am Barney!" "Nice to meet you Barney!" said Dison,"Now let's go play!" And the pair set off into the world.
A few months later, the two of them went to a party. The bison got a little TOO drunk, and accidently stepped on the ugly barnacle. The barnacle screamed loudly, and everyone looked at him. Then everyone fell over and died because the barnacle was ugly AF. Then the barnacle stood up and looked in a mirror. He too, fell over and died, because he saw his reflection, which was still, ugly AF. The end. The ugly AF end.
