Sunglasses

Dear Readers,

I'm about to tell you my experience in Jonestown Massacre. Sit back and read my story.

It was 1972; I remember the day Jim Jones came up to me. It was a hot, sunny day in Orange County, California. It was the day I left home. My mom had just kicked me out, and I didn't have a place to stay. I was 17, and I had long brown hair with brown eyes. I was walking along the sidewalk when a van pulled up. It was a man in a van, at first I was scared. What are his intentions? Was he planning to kill me? My thoughts were soon interrupted by the sound of his voice.

"Excuse me, ma'am, are you lost?" The man with the sunglasses said.

"No sir, I'm just having a hard time right now," I stated with a timid voice

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked

"That would be lovely," I said, "What's your name?"

"Jim Jones, and yours," Jim told me with confidence in his voice

"Jessie... my name is Jessie."

"Well Jessie come sit down in my car, and tell me what's wrong," Jim said to me.

I don't know why I climbed in his car, for all I knew he could have killed me, but at that moment I just needed to rest. I proceeded to tell him about my mom and how she kicked me out. I also told him how I was homeless. Without hesitation, he said, "How would you feel if I told you, you could live in a community where you didn't have to worry about food or water. A place where everyone was considered family."

I looked at him and smiled, "If there were a place like that, I would sure love to live there."

That's when he told me about the place he had built for people who didn't have a home and believed in civil rights. He called it Jonestown. I asked Jim if it was possible for me to live there. He gladly said yes to me. After all, it was only going to be temporary until I got back on my feet, right? Wrong.

I was still there, by this time Jim Jones moved his cult to Guyana. You might be wondering "What is she still doing there?" I ask myself that every day. Three years ago I told Jim that I can live on my own now. I told him it was great while it lasted, but I wanted to be an independent woman. To this day I'm still not sure what happened, but all I remember was him giving me a water bottle and next thing I knew I was praising him as if he was some god. I've always wondered how many times he's done that to someone, but I never thought about it that much. I have to say though, that's not the worst thing that has happened in Jonestown.

What I'm about to tell you is something I've never told anyone, not until now. Jim Jones abused people, he takes what they fear the most, and used it against them. I've seen many try to leave. Most of them never made it out alive, just like my friend, Tim. I remember when Tim told me to run away with him, that Jonestown wasn't right for us. I guess someone heard him but didn't see me. I'll never forget that day. In the middle of the night, I heard shouting outside. Then I heard Jim Jones go on the loudspeaker. He told everyone to go outside. What I saw next was horrifying, screaming at everyone, Tim was tied up to a pole. While Tim was crying, I saw Jim with a baseball bat in his hand. In the microphone, Jim Jones told us that if anyone left they would be shot down or tortured as Tim will be right now. After Jim had made that announcement, he dropped the microphone and began hitting Tim until he was unrecognizable. I thought that would be it, that Jim would just leave Tim like that, but then he did the worst thing yet. Jim walked up to his men and grabbed a gallon of gasoline. He then walked up to Tim and poured gasoline all over him. Without blinking, Jim pulled out matches. I've never heard a scream with so much pain in it, but then again I didn't know what was ahead of me. I'll never forget that day; it was September 5, 1976.

The next time something big happened was on November 18, 1978. Many things have happened that day. For example, an investigator came to Jonestown to check out if everything was okay. After he had seen how bad Jim was treating us, the investigator called the cops. The cops then told us that if anyone wants to leave now is the time. I was tempted to go, but something in Jim's eyes told me otherwise. Only a few left, but Jim's guards killed many of them. You see Jim Jones ordered his men to kill everyone who went with the cops. Thank god I didn't fall into that trap.

I've never seen Jim look so lost. I think it might be because he didn't know who to trust anymore. Jim looked around with panic in his eyes then suddenly I saw his face go from terror to determination. At that moment I knew he came up with a plan and from the look on his face, I knew it wasn't going to be good. At this point, I looked around. Everyone seemed to be talking about Jim, but no one would acknowledge the crazy look on his face. I saw him whisper into Johnny's ear; Johnny was Jim's assistant. I suddenly saw Johnny start walking up to the guards. Next thing I knew more guards were blocking the doors to leave Jonestown. A woman who made food for the community were walking into the kitchen. I suddenly felt like my stomach had dropped, but I didn't move from my spot. After 20 minutes of me just standing next to my friends, I told them I was going to walk around and make my head. After I had left the group instead of walking around, I went to my house. I sat on my bed wondering what was going on and why isn't anyone else scared like I was. Suddenly I heard Jim Jones's voice on the loudspeaker "Attention everyone, please come up to the center of the town... I repeat everyone arrives at the heart of the city." Something inside of me was telling me not to go outside and to hide under my bed, so I did. If only you knew what it was like for me to hide under my bed and hear the screams of the kids. I remember looking out my window and seeing guards holding down children and women. They screamed so loud; I can still hear it in my head. I just wanted to rip my ears off. I wanted to cry, and I wanted to help, but I was scared. Afraid of death. After what felt like hours of everything, everyone was dead including Jim Jones. I walked up to his body, and I just wanted to hurt him, make him feel the pain that I was feeling. I didn't do anything though, I just felled to the ground and waited for the cops. No one will ever understand what it was like to hear the screams of the ones you loved.

To this day I still have nightmares about it... no one should ever have to go through that. Seeing the massacre with your own eyes can change a person. I hope this story will give you an insight on the day Jim Jones killed many people.