I'm sorry I left you

part one: Him

I sat melancholy on a bench with my earbuds in. It was a peaceful day, the sky was filled with grey clouds and little droplets of rain sprinkled across my freckled face. Hood up and ready for another boring,lonely, quiet day. I mean I wasn't lonely I just felt like it, I felt like i was staring at a black void in my colorless world, i'm not even color blind but the only colors I saw were on paper when I drew or paint. I was an introvert, I barely speak or leave my house, only when asked a question in class I answer. I had friends, I used to be tan, blonde, social. I used to be Fun.
   I practiced a religion that was ancient and now called a satanic ritual. The rain started getting harder, many took out umbrellas, I took off my hood and my earbuds. I looked up waiting for a sign, something, anything. The bus rolled up and I went in, it was warm and loud. People stared at my blue and green hair others just ignored it. Some talked, some looked out the windows, read books, or just sat there wanting for life to just end. I was a person who stared out the window and sometimes i drew pictures on the window with my fingers. Cold, the glass was freezing, my fingers gently drew two eyes  on the glass, smearing the foggy window creating a beautiful art piece which started to melt, making it look like it was crying.
I felt someone, a boy, a warm feeling. He had a one side shaved kinda like skrillex and it was blue . he sat next to still taking to his friend. He turned and saw my drawing, we made awkward eye contact. I blushed and looked away, I could feel his smile.
'I like your um window art' he said, his voice, my god it was heaven, his voice kind and sweet.
'T-thanks' I replied shyly.
   I overheard their conversation, they were talking about band tryouts which i was trying out for. He played guitar and his friend played the drums.
The bus stopped, we all filed off the bus one by one.
Welcome to my HELL.
  Its crowded with strangers and people i've known or just met. The boy I saw earlier went to a large group, I had now noticed he carried a guitar case. It was blue velvet and had band names all over it.

  I slowly breathed out, i'll never get a chance with him, he's too, well...he's too good for me. I'd probably never make him happy. We all gather in the gym so we don't get wet, for a moment I stood in the rain I stared at him, he turned and looked right back at me. His friend saw us, I started towards the gym.
  My lips purple from the cold, my hands freezing, people talking and i'm not listening. My friends telling stories and laughing while I draw. I'm Cold. I'm Always cold.