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justin's pov

yeah of course i kissed her, i mean who wouldn't? god i'm such an asshole.

i entered class and sat in my usual seat in the very back, not giving a shit about school. i felt madison's eyes burn into my back, so i turned to face her, which was directly behind me.

"may i help you?" i snapped.

"i didn't say anything." she mumbled.

"fucking bitch-" i growled.

"okay fine." she sighed. "what did she do to you? ever?"

i scoffed and rolled my eyes, but on the inside i really thought about this. she didn't do anything. i like her, i just didn't wanna be judged by all my friends that i liked a nerd, so i tried pushing her as far as possible.

and now that i'm thinking about it, i'm fucking stupid. i laid hands on her, who the fuck lays hands on someone they have feelings for? my fucked up ass apparently.

"exist." i growled, not meaning any of it.

she bit her lip and shook her head slightly in disbelief. i hated this, all of it. why am i so fucking messed up?

mr. butler's lecture was hella boring as usual, so i asked to use the restroom.

when i made my way out, i slid my phone out and scrolled through all my snapchats from last night.

before i could reply to any, i bumped into another figure and dropped my phone.

"are you fucking kidding me-"

"i-im so sorry, god sorry sorry-" i heard a familiar soft voice croak as she reached to grabbed my phone.

"cla-i mean nerd." i corrected myself. "scram little bitch." i forced myself to say as i grabbed my phone from her hand and continued to tower over her.

"p-please don't hurt me. i-i can't do this anymore." she whimpered, several tears sliding down her cheeks.

my heart broke at this sight. you fucking did this to her you bastard. without you she'd probably be happy, confident. but no, liking her led you to go fuck her up.

"cla-" i started.

"p-please i'm sorry i-i don't know what i did to you...b-but i'm so sorry! i'm sorry if i did anything to ever h-hurt you or upset y-you." she breathed.

i sighed and glanced down at her trembling hands, before my eyes trailed onto her wrists, her scarred wrists. my eyes widened and i mentally cursed to myself.

"i'm sorry." i whispered. she stopped her crying and glanced at me.

"w-what? y-you are?" she replied hoarsely.

i nodded slowly and wrapped my arms around her petite body, her vanilla scent circling through my nostrils.

her body tensed up, i could tell she was confused and hesitant. i began to rub her back with my hand and held her tighter, wanting to stay like this forever.

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