Emotional Whims On Late Nights

5

It happened again. I didn't expect this to come back. And yet it did, seemingly stronger than ever, and right before summer, too. Summer, the time when all of your insecurities are blasted to the world and amplified ten thousand times more because there's so much pressure to look good in that bathing suit or those shorts. It ended, at least I thought it did. It wasn't supposed to come back, it was supposed to stay in the past like the good dog it is, obedient to it's master. But I wasnt always it's master, and I guess this dog remembers that time when I was afraid of it and let it take me over. I guess this dog wants it back. For quite some time now I have looked in the mirror and seen a beautiful face, body, existence. But now, I look into the mirror and I feel the ache in my heart, that pang in my chest, the tears welling in my eyes, the tensing of my muscles and the strain on my eyes as I try not to look away. There once was bright, but now, there is dark.

And there's nothing anyone can do about it.