Silent Lucy

Ch.1 - No More Cigarettes

The living room was suffocated by the smell of cigarettes and the rich fragrance of expensive cologne. It was quiet. Only the flicker of a lighter, and the faint sound of inhaling then exhaling disturbed its silence. It was also chilly. Someone may have switched the temperature of the air conditioner higher, since outside was very hot. But that's nothing new when it's summer. He loved the cold though, more than the heat. If someone were to ask him which one he preferred, the cold would always be his answer. After growing up in a cold country, it's not a surprise.

The blonde huffed with a cigarette bud held by his fingertips, exhaling smoke through his plump lips. The bud was almost burnt out. He would need another one soon. He heard the loud laughter of the others outside in the front yard, then chuckled silently to himself.

Someone fell down... again. Probably Ocho.

"Nicole." His attention snapped at the sound of his name, eyes focusing on the towering drummer. Zorro held a mug in his hand, gesturing it towards him. Nicole smiled at his band mate and childhood friend, taking the mug of dark brown liquid that smells alot like hot cocoa from his hand, after smashing the shortened and burnt cigarette bud out on a ashtray on the coffee table.

"Thank you." He mumbled, taking a sip of the sweetened beverage then licking his lips.

Sweet. Just the way he likes it.

He watched as Zorro sat next to him on the black leather couch, combing the blue bangs that hung wildly over his emerald green eyes back with his long and slender fingers. Nicole took out a cigarette that he always kept in his jacket pocket for backup, placing it between his lips as they held it there. He was about to light it with the lighter, but the cigarette was quickly pulled from his lips. His eyebrows furrowed as he stared at Zorro, who placed the cigarette between his own lips, snatching the lighter from his stunned hand, and using it to light the bud.

"Yo. That was mine."

Zorro inhaled deeply, exhaling smoke through both his nostrils and mouth, holding the bud with his fingers.

"This would've have been your 9th cigarette for the afternoon." He said to the pouting blonde.

"Yeah, it would've been if you didn't take it from me." Nicole replied, rolling his eyes and taking another sip of the hot cocoa, careful not to burn his tongue.

"You're going to kill yourself." Zorro stated, and he shrugged.

"Maybe that's what I'm trying to do."

"Then your thousands of fans would probably do the same."

Their eyes meet. Zorro raised a pierced eyebrow, and Nicole nodded thoughtfully.

"Yeah, that probably would end bad. Just imagine the headlines. "Thousands of die hard fans ended their life due to Silent Lucy's rapper, Nicole Lou sudden suicide." Ugh."

Zorro chuckled, as the younger boy joined him. They sat in silence for a moment, Nicole silently and cautiously drinking his Cocoa, and Zorro enjoying his cigarette on the side of him.

With his band mates, and especially Zorro, he only felt comfortable talking around them.

"Why are you here by yourself and not with the others?" The drummer questioned him. He bit his lips, followed by a sigh.

"I was thinking."

"About?"

Nicole gritted his teeth, placing the now empty mug on the glass top of the coffee table in front of them. He sat back in the couch.

"I'm so fucking tired Zorro... I'm so tired of this. Of myself. It's getting worse every day. People think that insecurity is just something you will brush pass. But I've been caged by this shit for 19 years. No matter how much fucking shrinks I talk to... Nothing helps. I can't even go outside and hang with the others like I used to before." Nicole sighed again, more heavily this time, then continued.