Dear,Bacon Buddies and Giant Green Gummy Bears
These past two weeks just seem extremely bi-polar,and it's confusing the living shit out of me. I mean Week One was terrible,I was flicked off multiple times,pushed and run into on several occassions,had hard objects thrown at me,been ignored by people I thought I could trust. I was even called racist,fat(even though I know I'm not I plan to start starving myself when I get home),Goth,mean,cruel,ect. I ignored all of my fucked up feelings and thoughts so I could help my friends who keep threatening to kill themselves. And just when my school finally had something I actually enjoy happen which was the writing contest,I sent in my favorite poem "Stolen Tears" I had written and it was "Lost" and unentered. I felt completely worthless,useless,stupid and selfish all week,I even thought of new creative ways to kill myself and others. Though I'm not actually gong to kill anyone no matter how hard I want to,I can't and won't allow myself to dissapoint my mom anymore than I already have. And worst of all, past memories were brought to light and I wanted to burst into tears but since I can't cry it wasn't an option for me. So in substitute for tears I gave blood from the cuts and slits in my stomatch. Sadly I'm going to have to stop and find another way to selfharm cause summers comming up and my parents expect me to swim. Now don't get me wrong I love to swim I just can't stand the thought of giving up my razor blades...
Week Two was better I guess,though I did self harm alot,cause of the "Free Time". I had to stay with my grandparents all spring break,still am. I also had to deal with their brat of a neighbors daughter,who comes over to play basketball. I almost punched her in the boob,even though she's like 3/4 years younger than me. Her little sister was over and she was playing basketball and the brat of an older sister sauntered up to her and grabed the ball mid throw
and started playing with it and shooting hoops while a smirk played on her lips,her sister tried to get it back but she wouldn't let it go. The were other guest's over and her mom had to abruptly stop talking to a lady and "Handle" the situation. She was to kind to yell at her but even when she had to get authoritive the brat snapped and kept playing and she had the nerve to smile while doing so.She eventually grew bored and threw the ball at her little sister and yes I did say threw. Her little sister looked very hurt and I couldn't imagine living with her older sister. The brat came back over not long after and snatched the ball again, thats not all she had done but I'm going to stop rambling on about her cause just writing about has got my blood boiling. God, she's just so infuriating!
*Sigh*I also had to talk my Ex out of killing himself,because he was dumped by my "Old Friend" who is a lying slut and betrayed me every chance she got. And he was led to believe he had nothing to live for but I finally convinced him otherwise. I'm also going to be writing one of my other stories here on Wattpad. It's called "Hidden Amongst Us",it's a vampire story ,though I usually write werewolf and other science fiction stories.
Till next time~The Thud Under Your Bed
P.S.I'm currently hiding under your bed,please don't look or I'll poke you with a spoon repeadtedly and turn you into a bacon pinata >×D
P.P.S If you want me to write any of my other stories or want me edit one of yours I will gladly just message me
