An Unfinished Business

Episode 2

By the time I woke up, it was noon. Mild sunlight was peeping in through the gaps of the blinds. My phone buzzed. It was a text from my mom asking about my whereabouts. I sent a quick reply and got up from bed. I went straight to the bathroom to have a bath. I loved baths. Well, actually I loved being clean. And not that I was any kinds of obsessed with it but I liked to stay off dirt consciously, some might say a little too consciously. I slipped into the cold shower and instantly the world turned a brighter place. When I was done, I brushed my teeth, dried off and came back to my room, carefully avoiding the places where I could clearly see the dust piled up from the ten days I was away. I changed into sweat pants and a t-shirt I had borrowed from my brother. I blow dried my hair and puckered up my sleeves and went down to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and found three chocolate bars that looked ages old. I quickly grabbed them all and stuck a note with GROCERY written in big letters. Eating the ‘breakfast/lunch’, I looked around the living room. There was dust covering almost everything I looked at. On the countertop, the tables, the books that I hadn’t picked up. I would have to clean it up before I started work again. It was going to be a busy day.

I stacked all my books up, cleaned the floors, cabinets and took the garbage out. It took all afternoon and when I was done I had to wash myself again. It was 4 pm and even though I had done 4 hours of cleaning, I was feeling refreshed. Clean did that to you. I walked down to the kitchen and saw the note I had left myself, ‘GROCERY’. I quickly changed into jeans, took my jacket and got into my car, a 1996 Honda accord, a second hand gift from me to me. The drive to the grocery place was pretty long, as were all roads to almost anything here. Everything was a car ride, which was either a boon or a bane, depending on your mood. It could either be an excuse or an opportunity.

It was sunny today, but there was a chill in the air. I could see families sitting together in parks or outside in their porch. I lived in a place where people were always finding a reason to get together or celebrate. You got a son? Let’s celebrate. You got a degree? Let’s bake pies for the whole town. You did not get pregnant? Let’s barbecue. Quite ironically, I hated all this. Well did not hate as much, I was just not a very friendly person. I could not just get included in a group or make instant friends. Everything took time for me. And that was the thing I never had. As a surgeon, the only time I could spare was for sleeping or eating or catching up on my studies. I did not have a social life even if I had lived in a carnival. That was a rule.

I reached the place where almost all of the markets were. I roamed around, getting a whole month of stuff, mostly something that wouldn’t get spoilt for weeks. I was stocking up on protein bars when I saw Steve, my ex-boyfriend and also my first boyfriend here. He had a small restaurant down the road and he was, as most real life things are, not quite as expected. He was not very tall or very handsome. He was not the guy you’d pick out in a crowd. He was not a straight A student or a really charming boy. He was Steve. He had nothing that you’d notice. Except that he had a restaurant. But that was not the reason why I dated him; he was this really, really philosophical person. He could quote books and poets on a moment’s notice. You couldn’t talk to him for hours but you could be silent with him and he’d understand. I had dated him because he gave me the feeling that you get after you remove your heels after a long day. He made me pause and take a breath even when I was moving. He helped me relax even when I was fumbling here and there. And that was the exact reason why we broke up. I was too fast paced and he was like those deep breaths you take when you’re asleep. It wasn’t that he couldn’t keep up, he just did not want to. He looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back. He still had those warm eyes. I went up to him

“Hey, how are you doing, Steve?” I noticed he had gotten fitter since we dated, more muscular.

“Hey, I’ve been good. Business is booming. I guess my chef has really learnt to cook.”

“Or maybe the owner learnt a few tricks.” I said, winking at him. He laughed.

“How’s the hospital? Still being a cyclone?”

“I don’t know if you’d believe me if I say it’s worse. I have only got one week of vacation. So just stocking up until the next fortunate night.”

“But you still love it.” It was a statement.

“Every minute of it.”

“Well as they say, ‘Blessed is he who has found his work, let him ask no other blessedness.’”

“Now you make me sound ungrateful, Steve!” he laughed

“Well, be it so. Nobody could be more grateful to anyone than he can be to a doctor. I have to leave now, as I said, the business is quite busy these days. Take care of yourself. And breathe.” He said and kissed me on the cheek and left. He was a good guy. And sometimes he made me wonder if something was wrong with me to not understand his life.

The ride back home, my mind went back to Steve. I remembered why I had dated him or to be more precise, why I had dated at all. I had just completed my med school with the top marks and no memorable relationship. I had gone back to my parent’s home and met all my old friends and all of them were either in a relationship or out of one or dating. and I felt like I was in a train, the train was going somewhere but I was still in the same place I had started with, only making a new round of acquaintances at each stop. Not that I hadn’t dated before. I had, in school. Where you exchanged notes and texted each other till wee hours and giggled and promised forever. But I was 23, with no significant relationship and I had to take matters in my own hands. And that’s when I found myself sitting at his restaurant, eating breakfast every day, trying to be as normal as he was. Things clicked, we dated. Till one day he realised that I wasn’t a person who eats their breakfast or has long walks along the city roads at night or get in bed at 10.

I got home and stuffed all the food anywhere I could manage. The thing with living alone was that you never really wanted to cook. Cooking for yourself seemed like a strange thing to me. Cooking always felt like a thing you did for others. Which was why I always bought ready to eat stuff. And today was the usual. I had bought a pizza on my way home, which was obviously going to be my food for the next afternoon. I grabbed three slices and raced up to my room. I had no TV, just my laptop which was used in occasions like these; when I was relaxed and had nothing to do. I went to open my window and saw him. His shoulder leaned against the window, reading a book. He was wearing a t-shirt with sleeves rolled up to his elbows and pyjamas. I made a big show of opening the window to get his attention (something was awfully wrong with me) and he looked up, smirked and gave me a wave. I rolled my eyes and went inside. He was an attraction. He was like the pack of chocolate your mom brings for you. It’s not your favourite but it’s good enough. And you’ll eat it as long as it lasts while simultaneously complaining about how it’s not what you wanted. He was not what I had wanted, but he was as close to that I could ever have in my life.