"IT is my job as a parent to raise a rebublican. If you are not a rebublican I have failed my job."-Dad
"THE GODS HAVE MADE THIS PIZZA!"- neighborhood kid eating Pizza Hut pizza
" The TREES made this pizza! Do trees make paper? I didn't know that."- little girl after eating Pizza Hut pizza
"It's the Jesus version of kidz bop. Kill it with fire."- Anybody over 13 at vacation bible school
"Hey I can make a rainbow!"swings water gun around- Pizza Hut kid
"Why does puberty hate me? Most people get hot. I get acne."-Me
"She's pizza drunk."- Pizza Hut parent.
"Are these cookies? I thought they were pancakes."- little girl
"I'm a vegetarian but I don't like vegetables"-Zendaya
" You know you're messed up when your looking for a sex scene in a Stephen King book."-Tanishiwa
"Out of the corner of my eye I heard."-me writing
"My personality is like A radioactive me-diorite. Spent too much time with it and it'll kill you." -Sam (Trout Mouth) Evan
On the airplane
Mom: I have some smut magazines if you want to read those.
Me: Ummm.........mom.Smut?
Mom(panicked): THAT WAS A BAD CHOICE in words. I meant gossip. Like people and j-14.
Me:I was about to get very worried for a second.My cousins showing my mom snap chat.
Cousins: SEE and when you do this takes a picture you like your
Mom: On drugs
Laughter
Cousins:at a Luau...."Were two halfs of a whole idiot."- Wanda and Cosmo.
"You can tell your a child when your proud of your makeshift donkey leg piñata cup that is full of candy you got by running over aggressive 5 year olds."
Sister:*talking about stuff*
Brother:*starts to cough a lot*
Sister: Stop coughing I'm talking!"Could you not get naked? I need my books!"
F: My butt
M: *winks*
F: Did you just wink at me?!?!?"Can we not argue about a fishes sexuality?"
"Do your ears believe in god?"
"Guess what? We were arguing about a fishes sexuality in biomed!"
"I though he was some musical god of the ass"
M: The dry shampoo is cheaper because it is expired.
S: So when can you eat it?"People are like footballs. Some are flat and others are pumped as heck!"
"Oh, I get it! Wisconsin's grow cheese!"
"W U Laugh"
*learning Santa Baby for show choir* "sign my stocking with a duplex and checks, bang words."
S: I'm calling this car cold because sometimes this car is cold.
M: I'm calling you a bitch because sometimes you're a bitch."I'm a mood 24/7..wait...no...23/7. Sundays are for god."
"I'm debating if this is a bruise or a cancer spot."
M: Why is there sugar on your legs?
S: Think of it as a sugar scrub.
YOU ARE READING
A big book of quotes.
RandomIt's just quotes I've picked up around. A lot are from my friends,relatives, and aquantences. Some are from t-v shows also.