"Daddy, what's wrong?"
I looked down. Little John looked back up to me and tugged on my sleeve again. Smiling, I took his hands in mine.
"Nothing, sweetie. You guys can go on ahead of me." I answered. My children raced into the church doors. John looked up at me curiously before following the others. I slowly walked up to the doors myself. I looked up and noticed a brown cross hanging on the door. For a moment, I thought about praying. I haven't done that for years. Still, it might make me feel something, anything other than this crushing depression. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth to whisper a small prayer:
Philip, I'm so sorry. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I know it's my fault. I know that.
I felt a tear fall down my cheeks.
"Alexander." a familiar voice called. Without even opening my eyes, I knew who it was.
"Philip," I knew this wasn't healthy. I knew that, but this saved me for small moments in the day. "Do you like it uptown?"
Blowing wind simply answered.
"It's quiet uptown." I sighed.
I pushed my hair back as I finally opened the doors. It had turned gray ever since the funeral. I positioned myself on one of the chairs closest to the alter. I put my head in my hands and choked back a cry. I smiled through the tears as I felt a small arm wrap around me.
"Something is wrong, isn't it?" John innocently asked.
I nodded and hid my face. My children saw right through it.
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It's Quiet Uptown
FanfictionThe unimaginable pain of losing a child. The Hamiltons move uptown and somehow learn to live with it. Note: This story is in Alexander Hamilton's POV.