Staycey With Me

Chapter 4

I walked home alone. Justina would have come with me, except she said she left her llama's fur curler on and had to scurry home.

I really miss Belle. I remember that time in New York, when she valiantly battled an incompetent doorman to get to me while she thought I was partaking in devils lettuce. No one can quite send out death threats like my best friend Annabelle.

As I near a grove of trees, I spot something dark between them. Should I investigate, and risk being kidnapped? Yolo!

Suddenly, something big and black crashed into me, pushing me to the ground. Normally, I like big black things but this time I almost shat my pants. Actually, what is the correct  past tense of "shit"? Is it "shat","shatted", or "shitted"? I will have to consult the internet if I ever make it home.

Looking up, I see that the bbb (big black thing) is Brian. Or rather Brain. He is wearing a black trash bag for some reason.

"Stay quiet Staycey, no time to explain." He picks me up bridal style and dumps me into the nearest garbage can.

I heard things from outside the comfort and safety of the Toter Two-Wheeled Cart, (Trash Can)which is virtually maintenance-free and boast the industry's lowest warranty claim rate. Manufactured using a stress-free, Advanced Rotational Molding process, this cart is tough. The use of medium density polyethylene (MDPE), provides a superior strength-to-weight ratio not found in standard injection molded carts.

"Brian? What are you doing here?" snarled an angry voice.

"I should be asking you the same thing, villain."

"Give us the girl."

"Never!"

"Pls?"

"No dude. Find someone else and do your horrid harvest."

"Come on Brian, we haven't seen someone like her in centuries. She's special. I could smell her from New York."

I casually raised an arm and sniffed my pit. The $12 dollar deodorant had long worn off. What in the fresh hell were these people talking about?"

I soon realized that I was not alone in the Toter Two-Wheeled Cart, whose extreme durability makes them the clear choice of cities and waste haulers across the nation. All around me, was a massive stash of devils lettuce.

I decided to have a demented salad, and slowly placed a gram or so in my mouth. Then I gagged. It was fucking oregano. Brian better handle these goons fast, because I am getting so bored and sweaty in here.

I hear grunting and scuffling outside. I'm not sure how many goons were outside, but it sounded like a lot.

"Go Brain!" I chanted quietly as I listened to the symphony of faces being punched.

Suddenly, I felt the charcoal black Toter Two-Wheeled Cart (with textured granite finish that hides scuffs and scratches) begin to move.

Throwing open the lid, I stopped briefly to admire how a lower handle height made the cart easier to tilt as Brian pushed me down the street. I must admit, the boy runs fast wearing a trash bag. Perhaps I should toss out all my workout gear and invest in some trash bags when I go to the gym.

"Hang on Staycey! We're going home!"

"Oh ok cool."

He pushed me all the way home, and then I realized that I never told him where I lived.

Wiping away beads of sweat from his brow, Brain squints at me.

"Staycey, I know you must be confused, but I can explain."

"No Brian. I can't talk to you anymore. You are  mysterious, and trouble follows you everywhere. Don't you see that we can never be together?"

"Staycey you need to stay away from me, for your own safety."

"Ok then leave me alone."

"Staycey, I  know this hurts you but we can't be together."

"Goodbye Brain."

"Oh all right," says Brain. "I'm only telling you this because you asked- the people coming after you... .they are..."

"What Brain, what?"

"The Voluminati," He said darkly.

"Huh?"

"A secret organization that goes after people with exceptionally rich, voluminous hair. Many a shampoo model has gone missing. They've had their eyes on you since New York. My stupid brother put you in danger by interacting with you, and now its up to me to fix it."

Wow. This was a lot to take in. I shoved the Toter Two Wheeled Cart, flexible and impact resistant in order to handle the continued stress of automated waste collection, back at Brain and ran indoors.

A/N: read chapter 5 of the original story by wishingforhappiness to get the devils lettuce reference!