Don't Say Goodbye

Chapter 1

I tried pushing him away but his grip tightened.

"So the hard way? that's fine. Roberto could you please hold the lovely lady for me?"
His friend smiled and nodded, he grabbed both of my arms and pinned them against my chest.

"It'd be my pleasure." He dragged me to the rock and leaned against it with me pressed tightly to his chest. He put both his legs around mine and slightly back in to hold them in place. Frank walked over to us and put his hand on my hip, smiling.

"You'll love this." He said as he started to undo his belt.

I felt hot tears begin to roll down my face. I shut my eyes and waited for it to be over.

********

I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock ringing, signalling the start to my everyday hell. I roll on to my side and sit up. I let my legs dangle off the side of my bed and sit there staring into space for a moment.

I think about last nights news. Another school shooting, 10 elementary school students shot and killed on site, along with 15 other injured.

"it's not a good time to talk about it" they said.

They talked about bodies upon bodies, lifeless and dead. Imagine a 5 year old's scared sad eyes, imagine blood trickling from his chest. Imagine what he could have grown up to be. So young, innocent and naive. I wonder if this will ever be okay to talk about, the news cycle continues and they point fingers at what is to blame if it's the guns or the mental health or the violent video games and they point fingers so much that they forget to actually do something about it. Time alway passes and those young lifeless eyes are forgotten. The politicians are saying now isn't a good time to talk about it maybe they want to wait for the parents to stop screaming the lovers to stop hurting the friends to stop crying but it won't stop because the violence won't stop because everywhere you look there is hate, jealousy and evil. We drive each other to the edge then ask what's wrong like nothing ever happened. We plagued this world with so much pain. maybe it's not that we can't stomach it, it's that we can and we do every single day and that's why 10 dead children wasn't enough to make anyone change.

I started thinking about what their lives were like and what they could've done or been if they lived a little longer. Would they have grown up to hate like everyone else or would they have been kind hearted souls like the few that bless this damned world?

I get up and head down the hall to the bathroom. When Im inside I turn the lock. Standing in front of the mirror, I asses the girl I see.

I see the same girl I see everyday, she looks tired, beat up, sad and lonely. Her long dirty blonde hair is in tangles. Her bright blue eyes seem to be the only thing that's still alive. There's a spark, but it's dying. Her arms are covered in deep red scars, Fresh from the night before. her posture is slouched and uncaring. That girl is me, that girl is Jade.

I turn on the tap to wash my face and brush my teeth. When I'm done I head back to my room, not bothering to comb my hair. I throw on my ripped dark wash blue jeans and my white t-shirt with an oversized black hoodie. I grab my dark green beanie and my backpack and head to the front door.

I'm already on the sidewalk heading down the road when I pull out my phone and click on my moms contact. It rings five times then goes to voicemail.

She never picks up.

"Hey mom, are you still picking up Lilian today? I need to go to the library after school for that project I told you about." I pause and take a deep breath.

"Don't forget like last time."

I send the voicemail and start running because Im going to be late, there's only 6 more minutes left and Mr.Rogers (my history teacher) is an unforgiving stubborn old fart bag.

***********

My school was only a block away now.

On second thought, I change my mind.

I started heading the opposite way to the bus stop. I didn't feel like going to school today, never learn shit anyway. It's full of whores and jocks looking for the next person their either going to fuck over, or fuck.

I'm going to go to my favourite spot, the spot where it's just me, my thoughts, my mind. I feel like the rest of the world doesn't exist when I go there, it's so peaceful and magical. I get to think about everything that's wrong with me and how I could be better, I get to cry over the stupid things society says girls should have because I can't change it, I get to be alone with those thoughts.

The bus arrives and I hop on and what I thought would be a "good day" begins.

*Authors Note*
If you like my story so far, please comment and rate it! 😄 I know it's really slow paced, but I'll write more soon. I'm also new to writing stories 😅 so forgive me if it's not the best. Im still learning! Thank-you so much for taking the time to read it. ❤️