Homeless people look at me while I pass by them under the bridge. They sit on the milk crates, eating some canned food that smells no better than any of them. They eat shit and smell like shit, their life is shit. I remember once a teacher told me that to get a 'c' is even worse than getting an 'f', because f is at least an honest fail, while 'c' is a pretentious and fake; nor here, nor there sort of thing. Who cares about your potential and ambitions if you can't pull it of? I like homeless people, some pity them, but I have my respect for them. At least they are honest about being this massive 'F'.
People don't appreciate an ability to fail. We all love success, like to win. These are the kind of people you see around 8 to 10 o'clock Friday night. They come in; black or dark blue suit with an expensive watch hiding under his left sleeve, medium length haircut with a fair bit of lotion that shines probably even in the dark, great smile, short and easy name, perfect life, new car, clean house with designer dark wood furniture and so on. It makes me want to vomit just writing about it.
I myself got to admit I'm quite a failure. Maybe not an f yet, but a c or so...oh well.
I'm not really feeling like making it a big story or at this point even continuing writing much longer. It rains outside, the radio talks about Isis and killings and it just doesn't feel right. Not today I think.
The wet road reflects car lights, people loose their mind in this weather. People loose their minds, dot.
I knew a girl that sold herself, but was the most innocent creature I've ever met. Now she is married to her ex drug dealer and they're about to have their first child. She works selling all seasonal shoes for women, while he drives a bus. They will never leave that town where they were born, and these places that made them the way they are, it's a trap, but for them it's a home. They are happy because they don't know better. I feel sad because I know they won't ever know better. I also feel somewhat happy because they won't know any better and in this ignorance they are bliss.
You probably don't care and it's really fine. Those are just words on your phone screen. I don't know you, but if I did I'd advise you to not waste your life and to not settle for "home", for comfort. Get out, and get fucked. Get hurt. Experience life, because this comfortable position cannot be called living, but surviving.
Don't survive, when you ought to be living.
